JUST Bulll!!!

The Crossroads

2011-12-12T12:22:00.000-08:00

Excerpt from the book I am going to write. Soon. The story is fictional.

"I was thinking of putting up these words in the form of a poem. But then I realized, the substance that I am writing about cannot be made to rhyme or cannot be made poetic, because there is nothing beautiful about it anymore. Yes, I am speaking about love. The love which I lost today and lost it forever.

I thought that this was the girl whom I will end up marrying. And I tried with my heart to love her, to make her happy. I always knew that her life was not as simple as mine. Things were not set in the right place for her as it was for me. Things did not come as easily to her as it did to me. Life, it seemed to me, was always more harsh towards her. And this is what made me love her more, to make life fair towards her. I was thinking that I was helping her by loving her, making her life easy. I was wrong.

I realized that the more I went deeper into her life, the more her life got complicated. I was confused. I wanted to be her solution, and I found that I was becoming the biggest problem in her life. The one problem which she was struggling to solve. This shattered my premise on my love. I used to think that I was bringing happiness in her life. But I was not.

I found that everyone around her saw me with disdain in their eyes. Everyone around her wanted her to leave me. She was fighting against her own people for me. But, she was also crying. And I didnt understand how I can bring back her smile. I asked her, tried to listen to her. But she wont speak. I wanted her smile to be back on her lips. And I was failing.

She was the queen of my heart. The one special who cannot be replaced and whose place will remain in my heart forever. And I cannot see her cry, see her in pain.

I saw that she was sitting on the crossroads in her life. One road led to her family's happiness and the other road led to me. The road to me was the difficult one, which involved her facing constant pain inflicted by the ecosystem around her. That road was a longer one. But I knew that, she wanted to take the difficult route for me. And in the process I felt she was dying as the pain was too much for her to handle.

So I had to decide. And I decided to make her choice easier. The only reason she was in pain was because she was on the crossroads. If there was no crossroads, she need not cry. And I did a horrible thing. What I did cannot be described here. But the result was that the crossroads disappeared forever.

I can see her walking now on the only road remaining, towards her family. She is sad. She is angry. But I know, now she can atleast be at peace.

Sometimes its better to remove the painful option so as to make life easier. For her, I was the desired, but the painful option.

And this was the best I could do for her. I love her. That is the truth. But some love stories are just not meant to have a happy ending"

I know, there are many unanswered questions in the excerpt. But if I write about everything here, then this wont remain a blogpost anymore. Thanks for reading.

Signing off- Drunken Mind

My tryst with Death

2011-09-30T01:19:00.000-07:00

Time: 11.55 AM . 30/09/2011

Venue: IIM Ahmedabad, Dorm 16 Room 3

Ya, I am still alive. Its been about 13 hours now, and I can safely assume that I am out of any short term dangers of the incident that struck me yesterday. Yes, the Drunken Mind aka FootLee as I am known within the red walls is going to keep ticking for the time being. :)

Date: 29/09/2011. It was around 11 pm in the night. Me, Miyoni ( The Dorm Baap ) and Mahabali Leechar ( Don't be surprised. We do have a Mahabali in the dorm) were engaged in a high velocity game of cricket within the dorm. This has become our favorite time pass in the second year. Me as usual was smashing Miyoni for fours and sixes all around the dorm. But then a ball came which had my wicket written on its name and I had to return to fielding, an activity in which I am no Jonty. Thereafter Mahabali Leechar came to bat and was getting rattled by Miyoni's balling, when my thirsty eyes fell on an innocent looking bottle of Moutain Dew sitting on top of the cupboard. Being dehydrated already after the heavy hitting, it looked like a promise of relief to me. I could imagine how freshness will wash over me if I could get to drink a few mouthfuls of the chilled Moutain Dew. I needed it, I decided and announced, "Drinks Break!".

I took over the bottle, stripped open the cap and squeezed out a mouthful, hoping to feel the freshness.

It didn't taste like Dew. Neither was the smell familiar. Very much dilute and lemon flavored. I realized I have drunk, a good handsome mouthful of the home cleaning acid! May be Phenyl! I am F-worded.

"Guys, I think I drank acid!". My dorm mates' initial reaction was shocked hilarity. I understood their inability in reacting wisely to this alien new situation and could emphatise with them. Miyoni, just like a pompous consultant, who usually doesn't have sector expertise but claims to have, assured me of no viable risks and recommended me to relax. But I knew I may be some thirty minutes away from a painful, foam-coming-out-of-my-mouth kind of death.

I went to the wash room and tried to cough it out. But found it too troublesome.

I rushed to my room and googled up " Drinking Phenyl".

Yahoo answered me, "you will either die a horrible painful death, have your stomach pumped within 15 minutes of drinking the stuff and maybe come away with nothing worse than severe burns to your entire inside body. Or have your insides attacked to the point where you will spend the rest of your life as a vegetable being kept going by lifesupport machines, unable to care for yourself or even use the loo on your own ... that is if you can use the loo at all by the state of your insides"

Miyoni also read it up and this did rang some wisdom into his head. I forgot to mention another of my great friends, Mr Tarzan was also around. I had invited him for making a pitch for a client. Tarzan gave me an insight into the situation and told me he survived one such incidents where he drank Kerosene. Was that reassuring for me? Of course not!

I knew now, this may be my last night on earth. Even Miyoni was more into the thing now. " Miyoni Sale, haste khelte fisul me , G.... na lag jaye" . He understood.

We called up the Campus Doctor and detailed him the situation. The doctor guessed that these home cleaning acids are normally dilute and doesn't cause massive corrosion, if drunk in little amounts. He recommended me to drink up cold milk as an alkali agent to neutralize the acid. It sounded logical to me.

But I was not satisfied. What if it was not a mild acid? What if it was Phenyl? I decided to reach to the source of the acid and plundered the cup board which stored all the home cleaning agents. I found a big bottle of Max Home Grade Acid. The composition was not mentioned in the bottle. The smell was kind of similar to what I drank. But we inferred that something else, something more poisonous, also could have been added. Calling up the house-cleaning boy was also futile as he was not picking up the phone. Googling the acid's name further helped no more. But I found that home cleaning acids are usually mild compositions as the thought leaders have already foreseen situations like this. I was thankful.

It was already 20 minutes now. I was anticipating some reaction from the evil agents that had found way into my system. I was not scared. But jokes apart, the truth was, I was scared for my parents.

Miyoni again assured, "I will keep the keys of the bike. If you start releasing foam from your mouth, we will rush to the doctor". It was not reassuring at all. A short discussion on Reactive vs Proactive process ensued.

The doctor called this time and invited us to his residents for a pulse and heart beat check. Atleast he was thinking something. I decided to first go to the cafe for milk. At this point Mr Tarzan jokingly reminded, "Guys we need to make the presentation also! Let FootLee go to the doctor, while we make it" I retorted, "F-word your presentation into your holy ass ". The situation was humorous with an underlying current of tension. We all left for the cafe.

At nescafe, I drank 1.5 glass of badam milk and could feel something neutralizing inside me. I know it was just an imagination, but was kind of reassuring.

At the doctor's house, he found my heart beat and pulses to be normal. Checked my tongue for blisters and found none. I guess, I am not dying afterall.

On our way back, we analysed and identified the possible sources where I can find fresh milk in the campus. That's what I needed to survive now. :)

45 minutes gone. No apparent acidic reactions till now. I was starting to believe that I am out of danger.

@1.15 AM, we were busy discussing the client presentation. Soon a super-tuchcha joined us and the discussion shifted to topics that interests boys. He had some very interesting updates to share. The night went on till 4 AM, as usual with everyone laughing and joking about today's legendary incident and ended with nothing unusual happening.

Thus happened my tryst with death. A short incident but worth writing down to laugh about it later. Life can be unpredictable, uncontrollable but what can be controlled should be prudently managed. I haven't yet told my parents about it. I can imagine how my loving mother will react.

The Trapped Dragon

2011-07-24T04:25:00.000-07:00

In my recent trip to Diu, I got the chance to appreciate how magnificent the sea is once again. I have always been fascinated by its beauty.

The very sight of the waves coming and going away brings a soothing effect to the mind. The sea looks angry yet is calm. As I kept reflecting on its splendor, some very weird thoughts came to my mind.

The sea is like a trapped dragon. It wants to get free from its Shackles…The Shackles, which are preventing it from engulfing the whole world. Each time a wave comes and smashes on to the shore, it is an attempt by the sea to break free from its reins. The more the sea is thwarted off by the rocks on the beach, the more enraged the dragon gets and comes back with a vengeance far more fierce. This fight between the sea and the shore is relentless and as time has witnessed, the sea is winning the fight- the shores are being eaten away, bits and pieces at a time, slowly but surely.

The sea is a seductress. It attracts us towards it, luring us into its vicious range by its irresistible grace. The more we go further into the sea, the more addictive it turns, the more funfilled it gets and the more vulnerable we become to its charm. The ones who lose their minds to its hypnotism, are the ones who ultimately end up dead. The ones who were unfortunate to be given death by the sea, died enjoying life till their last moment, until they realized it was too late. It can be inferred that the dying ones lost their ability to discern between its mesmeric beauty and its hidden viciousness. The sea is beautiful, attractive but behind its beauty it hides a hideous truth. The truth of the trapped demon, which appears once in a while to the world in the form of a Tsunami, or an incident of ship wreck, or drowning accidents, is undeniable. The sea is a temptress, hungry for blood and human flesh. Beware of your playful stints with the sea, they may be your last.

The sea shore is the perfect foreplay ground before the act. The wave comes playfully, washes our knees and sinks our feet into the sand on its way back. The waves are the masters of disguise, trained to hide its true intentions behind its cheerful glamour. At one moment, we will be playing with our knees just deep under the sea, the very next moment, a huge wave may bring us chest deep into the water. Interestingly, the force of the water while going back from the shores into the sea is much more stronger and attempts to take us deeper into the sea. If we lose control of ourselves at that moment and let the sea take over, we may be gone with the demon forever, into our watery grave. Without us realizing, our laughter gets turned into our cries for help. We lay oblivious while playing thoughtlessly wit the sea that our nemesis may lay just a moment away, just a few meters away or just one wave away.

These thoughts that came to my mind are a fruit of critical observations into the activities that people do in the sea, unaware of the consequences. Nonetheless, the sea has been and will always be a friend of man.Provided we remember that the dragon is waiting in silence, discreetly hiding behind deep waters, looking for its next victim, trying to break the shackles, to satisfy its undying hunger for human life. Dont tempt him to take yours away.

Pyaar ka Punchnama

2011-06-17T23:48:00.000-07:00

For male audience only.But females with a sense of humour may enjoy it.

Pyaar ka Punchnama, was an awesome movie in the sense that it depicted exactly the categories where most of the girls, before marriage, fall into. The movie was such that almost everyone who ever had a relationship could relate to one of those three stories.

The extremely possessive: This is the kind who thinks just because she started living in with you without telling her parents or against her family, she has the upper hand in the relationship. In her view, her sacrifice is unsurmountable and everything you do compared to that amounts to nothing. Even if you work your ass out to please her, she will have the belief that whatever you do is the minimum that you should anyway do. The moment you shy away from any of these shits, you have invited yourself to the big fight. The only difference here is that logical arguments earn no brownie points here and the debate is mostly run on illogical , unjustified accusations and the end result is mostly predecided- you give up.

In short, in this case the license you got to her assets is not for free and you have bargained your soul, your life for that. Your focus has to be only on her and she will ensure it using techniques which we innocent boys dont have a clue of. So beware my friends, the short time benefits might look attractive, but the long term spear that awaits to enter your part where the sun never shines ( quoting Stephen King) is invariably a part of this vicious deal.

The girl friend, but not girlfriend: The most dangerous kind. This is the one we should most definitely try to avoid but we unfortunately run into them atleast once in our life. She has a simple weakness, she needs attention, a shoulder to cry on, a companion to go on shopping with where the companion might sometimes, most of the times infact, need to pay. She may or may not have a boy friend, but your chances of scoring based on your care and concern for her stays at limit tends to zero.

This kind has mastered the concept of friendship and knows how to manipulate it and use it in their favour. Friendship is her medium to get her things done and also her defence against you in getting your things done. Sooner or later, friendship will be used against you in ways which you wont be happy about at all.

The flirt: If you have a strong heart and a mind focussed on only one thing, she is the catch for you. Ofcourse, you need to qualify her cut offs for you to even get a smile from her. This kind is on a mission to conquer the world, extremely ambitious and career focussed and the good thing is that she is stressed most of the time. But remember, even if you get a ticket for the show, you are just a transcient part of her life, just like a movie, and your stint with her will be as quick as your moments of ecstacy.

She is the perfect creation of God with the one objective ingrained in her mind to deliver pleasure and happiness around her vicinity to the ones worthy of her.

Having detailed these I would like to say that the makers of PKP have willingly or unwillingly not done justice to the girl community by excluding that one category without which most of the girls I know will feel betrayed.

The Girl: The gift of God to this undeserving world. She is the epitome of Lordess Saraswati and Lakshmi combined into one being. This kind knows the meaning of love and committment.And by committment, I mean not only to you but also to her family.

She knows how to love and how to get loved. Infact once you get one of this kind, you cant stop loving them. You will love everything about her, her smile, her hair, her eyes, her kiss and whatever you could think of.

She knows her limits and hence you wont be granted any license until the right time. This is important for her as she wants to maintain the sanctity of the relationship. She will do everything for you and will also expect back from you. But if you fail to do so, she will not accuse you of anything but will only be hurt. You have to be a devil to hurt such a being.

This kind has one weakness. They are trying to emulate Mother Teresa and are on that mission of absorbing all pain in the world alone without sharing anything with you or for that matter with anyone else also.

She loves you, that is the truth. But whether you will get her as your soul mate is not guaranteed. Why that is so cannot be explained her simply because I dont yet have the answer. May be because most true love stories, dont have a happy ending. But that may not always be the case, if you are shrewd and man enough, you will know how to get your girl irrespective of what the universe conspires.

Key Takeaways:

PKP is an awesome movie. Watch it, if not yet done.
It is not a complete categorical description of girls.
Even the list I presented is not complete. Because the P&Cs of features will lead to an infinite insignificant list.
Enjoy life as it comes.
Keep reading & Keep your hunt on!

Tschüss ( in German :) )

The Story of Long Distance

2011-05-22T09:23:00.000-07:00

LDC, You may have guessed by nw.. it is Longg Distance Ch.....pa. Ocassionaly many of us get into it and though love is love and the feeling is awesome, LDC has its own charm and a very different set of attributes. The mobile, needless to say plays a role much more significant than we realize..

In Good times:

By Good times, I mean the period in the cycle, when everything is just too good to be true. You are perfectly @ peace, and not subjected to any emotional attyachars. ...

You wait for your mobile to beep, the moment it beeps you heart skips in expectation... though more often then not, the messages are from Uninor... stil, the moment "that" number flashes, the one you were longing to see, you feel overjoyed.. read it.. something sweet awaits in the inbox... may be a smile, may be a kiss..

The moment the mobile rings, your heart beats harder... yes, its that number again.. the voice will soon reach your ears.. that voice which you have longed to hear since morning is just an "acceptance" away..(--).. when you hung up, your wait for the next call has just begun..

The mobile houses in it those moments, those messages which you love to read a hundred times with a smile unknwingly hanging on your lips.. it houses those little moments of fun and laughter,
the ones without which your LDC is meaninngless..

Every LDC has a defined hour in the night, when the mobile will ring, has to ring, you knw it, you want it.. this is the hour when you keep checking your mobile evey minute .. almost.. the call has to come, should have come by now..not yet.. and then it comes.. (--)..the silent sound of the kiss.. lucky man.. you can sleep now .. your dreams have been wished sweet.. the night has just become a bit more beautiful..a bit more restless.

You rub your eyes in the morning only to check if the mobile has the message, the wish of good morning..it has.. a good morning indeed..

In Bad times:

The period of emotional torture..

The wait for the beep is on.. only this time though it beeps , there is nothing sweet waitinng for u in the inbox..better dont read it.. delete it.. if you have pissed " that number " enough, you may even get to read a few, rather unpleasant ones..

Will the moble ring? The voice.. when will you hear it again.. these thoughts occupy your mind.. will the wait ever end.. it never does.. the mobile lies by your side, motionless , dead.. you feel like throwing it away.. the mobile stares at you with dread in its eyes..

Those sweet moments housed in the mobile.. you can read them again to cheer your mood.. only, in some crazy spur of a moment, you may have already deleted everything.. the box is empty .. jst as your soul and heart... you can only regret in futility and suffer in call-lessness..

That hour in the night, the predefined hour... the call has to come, the number has to relent... you always knew "the number" sooner or later relents...never betrays you in this hour.. atleast never till now.. will tonight the call come? it may .. it may not.. the mobile alerts you.. someone has called! is it that number.. ? Alas, it is not.. your frustration at your mobile increases undyingly... you can sleep now.. your nights have just gone longer..

The morning has come, the message has not yet.. neither did the call...

A day , a week, a month.. the mobile kept giving you false alerts and heart beats..you cant blame the mobile, it has tried its best...only, that number never rang.. you decide to delete it in anger.. but how can you delete it from your brain cells.. you have unknwingly stored it in such a place from where even you cant delete it.. you are screwed..

Conclusion:

The mobile is your true friend.

It is also an indicator of how well you have managed your LDC

LDC cannot run without a mobile

Lastly, dont screw your mobile, it was only helping you...

PS: Present physical state of my mobile: healthy

Inbox: Empty.

PS again: This time with a :) .. Please dont take the bull shit too srsly, the things have been written for fun.. and more often than not.. I believe, the number does call, it alwyas does and your LDC falls back into the good time period.. but the cycle does repeat, and thats wht LDC is all about.. Happy LDCing..:)

!!:: """ ""???

2010-11-24T11:35:00.000-08:00

I am disturbed, my mind is distracted. Everything looks fine and seems fine. Infact I am suppose to be in a totally awesome phase of my life. So why is that I am bothered... what is bothering me...

I tried to listen to music, i tried to repair my old sony ericsson mobile, i tried watchin some british movies, i tried to see some intersting stuff in dc++, i chatted with a few old friends, i played chess, i tried reading the stuff i am supposed to read for tomorrow, i called my parents and wished them good night, i made the last call that i normally do in the day and after all this i am still bothered.....

after much thought i found the answer.. hope to resolve the thing by tomorrow :)

Life without you

2010-06-02T08:24:00.000-07:00

My life, an unwritten page, an unpaid wage;
My life, a smothered fire, an unfulfilled desire;
My life, a leaking boat in a raging sea,
My life, in a desert, a leafless tree;

Tired and lost, I walk the road lonely,
My friend, the dusty sun only;
On the path to a marred glory,
Love defeated in this sweet story;

Her voice in my mind sings,
With her I could fly without wings;
Her face in my eyes appears,
Welling them with tears;

Her smile in my heart stays,
Her fragrance comes and betrays;
With a hollow soul, am alive yet dead;
With a dream shattered , I walk ahead;

As a writer of a story incomplete,
With a pain that ceaselessly repeats ;
As a traveler without a destiny,
With an empty heart missing my tiny;

--------------------------The Drunken Mind

Epilogue: A hypothetical situation where the drunken mind will be in such a state as described in this poem, when his love would have forsaken him.

An Evening walk .

2010-05-25T12:10:00.000-07:00

The day's jobs were over. Its time to go back home, where my mom is waiting. Her anxious call had already reached me.  The time is 7.55PM. The slight drizzle along with the refreshing breeze flowing have made an ideal ambience for me to have a cigarette, which I had restrained since I came to ghy.

I am walking my way home. I got my cigarette which was as usual Gold Flake kings. The first puff went in and I could feel the smoke rushing happily through my throat and reaching my lungs and taking its own pleasant time in visiting the crevices and precipes of my lungs before it left me through my lips in the form an unheard whistle. The smoke once out of my mouth tried hard to retain its shape which though, soon faded away into the wind. A smoke after such long is really wonderful.

 The sky above is star-less and the moon is nowhere to be seen, may be hidden beneath the clouds.  The air is pleasant and slightly chilling. But I as usual am sweating.

My self assigned deadline to reach home is 8:15PM. Its 8:05PM already. With the smoke whistling out of my mouth, I started to observe the people whom I was crossing by.

A couple sped by in a bike. The warm cuddle into which the biker was clutched by his pilion rider, a cute girl (which  I am just guessing from her long hair that was waving with the wind),as he sped by, gave me a happy smile for reasons unknown.

I see an old man standing on the pavement, in  dhoti and vests with a grumpy face. Could not guess what could have been the source of his anguish. May be the tiring old age is taking its toll on him.

Krishna Bhandar: This is the name of the shop I just passed by. Inside, the shopkeeper was staring mysteriously at a Parle G biscuit packet.  Inside a tailor's shop I saw a girl concentrating hard on her sewing machine. Saw two small kids walking hand in hand, childhood dosti huh. Nice.  A guy overtook me just now holding a mobile near his ear and talking quite audibly.  I overheard "Jaan, Listen na..Arrey Jaan..  " Talking with his girl friend may be, and guessing by his tone, she is quite pissed at him . A possible 'Break up'  scenario for the dude.  "Bete aur tej bhaag. " A pack of roadside romeos resting on a damp, yellow stained wall, smoking and whistling.

Strange people  around huh. Only ,we never observe.

Tired rickshaw pullers , bicycle riders  and cars crowd the road which was occupied at places by muddy water pools.

8:10PM. Splash! Shit man! My pair of jeans got drenched just now, with muddy water by a speeding Sumo. My home is close now. I am quite wet with sweat already .The sweat is dripping through my bows and threatening to drop on my spectacles. My mom's handkerchief  came to my rescue.

The cigarette is almost over now  and so I disposed it. Time to chew a centre-fresh and allow it a decent chance to wipe out the remnants of the vice I  just committed.

8:15PM. I am outside my home. Waved at dad who just went out in the car.

8:16PM:Inside home. Time to take a warm bath and then read P.G Wodehouse's Big Money.

Adios bangalore!

2010-05-21T12:42:00.000-07:00

20th May, 2010 : 2AM
Location : Bangalore

Everyone had slept in the house. I was late, packing ; and also at the back of my mind this thought was playing : Today is my last night in bangalore. I may come back after two years but that's uncertain. The only certainty was my two years' romance with bangalore was going to break up.

I unlocked the door and stepped outside into the verandah. The breeze was flowing with all her grace ,after a long time, brushing me with an undefined delight. It was such pleasantness. Bangalore had become a hot place in the last two years. It seemed all its splendor was back. In the breeze, the plants of our small terrace garden seemed to be have discovered a new lease of life, dancing crazily. I kept standing, staring into the night, reveling the beauty of the night for a moment . Then I heard it . It was as if the silent song of the wind was whispering into my ears , goodbye...

I came back inside , feeling a bit sad . Two years had gone away so fast. And i did not realize that Bangalore has given me so much . I was gifted with a good job that gave me my first salary, my first Tommy hilfiger shirt, my first sony ericsson mobile and so many such 'firsts' . I was able to gift my dad a motorockr mobile which though, could not last long in the hands of my mighty cousins.

Though not known for many places of interest, I found my place of interest here, Purple Haze- an awesome place for rock music lovers which provides you just the right atmosphere that can rock you out of your senses.

I found my favourite kabab center here Kabab Magic, where I used to spend most of my time after office in the initial days with my colleagues , eating Shwarma roll and grill chicken and which was one of the main reason for my gain of 10 kilos in 6 months after I came to bangalore. :). M right now scared to check my weight!

I will surely miss my gym where i went religiously for two months after my parents termed me a ' mini bipu' , getting a shock seeing my rapidly transforming physical geography . (For the less knowns, bipu da is my elder brother :) ). The end result was good after the gym work-out but alas! The pressure to cope up with the diet of my family melted the efforts in less than two months.

I was going to miss all the good times I spent here with my old and new friends, the endless nights spent talking bull shit and listening to music , watching freshly pirated movies, talking about new strategies to re-try our failed attempts at acquiring a permanent girl friend, analyzing what went wrong with the last attempt, consoling friends who recently got ' the break up' and what not.

To name a few of "the to be missed list" : The occasional brain storming at office which was essential as an R and D engineer .The 3 pm tea break with Arun, my colleague, discussing our 3% recession-hit hike in the first year and the bleak prospects in the second year.My chess sessions . My occasional attempts at mastering Alexandro Rubini's Device Drivers.

A few more of the "to be missed list" : The late night discussions with Santo da that revolved around various censored and uncensored topics. My brother's awesome cooking and occasional discourse of random gyan on life (which is very useful at most of the times) . The adda sessions at Bubun da's place in the weekends. Both of My Bhabhis' (Mimi Sr and Jr ) sweet care and concern for me. My cook who used to wake me up regularly at 8AM and who was relentless in bugging me with "bhaiya! bhaiya! bhaiya! kya banana hain" me (in my mind MC, BKL, TMKA) "kuch bhi bana re bhai! " etc etc.. the list in endless.

Bangalore introduced me into the beginning of new relations, into the ending of a few, and into the rediscovering of another few. I got my first niece here, Lini, an angel.

And last but not the least , i discovered here Byzu, The ultimate tutor for Cat. Its solely because of my joining his classes that I was able to crack Cat at the first serious attempt. Though its a relief to be not preparing for Cat again, but yes if i look back i can confidently say that I really enjoyed preparing for it. The weekend classes which exposed me to some seriously fundo mindblowing techniques, the mock cat sessions, the scores , the analysis, the comparisons, the strategies for the next mock:- all forms a very comprehensively enjoyable experience.

And then the IIM Calls , the IIM Interviews, The IIM Converts.....the IIM A brand.

Thus I m standing here today, packing my bag to go away from bangalore, carrying with me the sweet memories and moments which bangalore has gifted me over the last two years and for which i will ever remain indebted.

Unrequited Love..

2010-05-13T14:36:00.000-07:00

Prologue: This is a tale of two lovers whose love got lost as the windmills of time took its merciless toll. And then they meet after a decade. By now, both have found their life partners whom they love more than their own life. But this unexpected meet did fire up the forgotten moments and the hidden emotions. Though they know, its too late now.

"A distant thought in my mind strikes,
A constant prick in the heart it spikes,
Lost long back in the maze of space and time,
Pleasant sound it was of that wind chime,
we have to move ahead dear,
Blessed with the memories of the past,
That story of love has to end in a carnival of rust."

"Gone are d days i know...
Futile were d thoughts "we" sow;
Could not take in the divinity when Cupid struck,
Your indifference left me thunderstruck;
Dear you will live in my memories that wont sag,
Bcoz we shared our own sweet love bag;"

"A thing of which i was ever certain,
Never will "it" face the fall of curtain;
Is "it" evergreen u asked me,
Truely speaking dear, "it" was for me;
Though a term alien to me "it" was,
I believed in "it" as u in me; "

"Beautiful are d words u say....,
Destiny had its sword to sway;
The innocent duo didnt have d right words to say,
In my mind like an illusion u ll stay ;"

"And hence came the moment once again,
That forces us back to the valley of pain,
A pain which defeats definition ,
Is it love which seeks recognition?
Or is it a courtship friendly ?
Or our own sweet moments of hidden glory? "

"Cant ask u to hold back,
Nor can i stay back;
The pain within we both feel,
Would time be the only heal;
Wanted to hold hands n walk with you,
That excruciating pain made me part ways with you;
Wanted to be the princess of your heart,
But all "our" dreams have fallen apart;"

Epilogue: A very wild imagination of the, as you all so well know, The Drunken Mind.

"Kash yeah zindagi bin kahen, bin sune, sho gaye hoti,
Subah ki roshni bejubaan subah ki woh gun gunati"

MBA Calling!

2010-05-04T12:14:00.000-07:00

So I am back guys and yes after quite some time. Infact I am so full with news right now that I dont know where to begin with!

Though infected with so many technical glitches and hiccups, online CAT 2009 was a pleasant experience for me with me facing no technical difficulties at all on the exam day.

After giving my exam on Dec 7, 2009 I had a feeling that I screwed up my English section. But as my nature rarely allows me to regret, I just shifted gears to the post- cat big event "My Brother's Marriage"! I took a two weeks long leave , not caring much for the privilege leaves which I might have been needing just in case I get the coveted IIM calls, which looked like a distant possibility to me at that time. Needless to say, I enjoyed like crazy each and every moment of those two weeks.

28 Feb,2010: That morning I was anxious as I knew it was high time the CAT results were declared. Even though I was sceptical about my results, the pre-result goosebumps is something with which I am diseased since childhood. And then the announcement came,

"Get CAT 2009 Scores " .. I clicked it with my heart skipping a beat.
After some bull shit written on the page was "Take me to CAT 2009 scorecard!" Clicked it.

The result was infront of me, the product of my last one year's effort. It was a decent percentile, with me scoring equally in all the sections. Though not very hopeful with the score, Santo da consoled me with the fact that the scores were consistent across all the sections.

After making some frantic calls to my friends, I came to know that IIM Ahmedabad and IIM Shillong had put up the short list. My heart beat was so loud, I could literally hear them . An unknown expectation had besieged me . Santo da was besides me, equally excited!

"Shortlisted Candidates for IIMs
IIM Ahmedabad- Click Here"

And yes!! My serial number was there!! We both shouted like crazy...

"IIM Shillong- Click Here" and I was there also!

With these two in my bag, I was silently confident about a perfect "BLACKIS" Call and a perfect "blackis" it was :) :) The first step towards an IIM seat was complete.

18 Mar, 2010: The first interview was scheduled pretty fast leaving absolutely no time to prepare. It was the IIM B call. My dream college.

Essay/PI Venue: IIM B, 9AM.

8.15AM: I was still at home searching for the car keys which I somehow misplaced the day before. Out of tension, Petla was shouting as he always does when he feels the situation is getting screwed. Everyone in the house, Bou , Santo da was looking for it but in vain.

8.35 AM: I decided to leave as the key showed no signs of showing up. In formals and almost running, I reached the BTM bus stand and crossed the road.
"Auto! Chalega kya IIM B." a gruntled no by the autowala....
"Paisa jyada le lena. Chalo Bhai".. still a no...... followed by similar negations by around three more auto walas.

8:40AM: I decided to try my luck at the other side of the road which would have actually increased the total distance to IIM B . But I had to take the risk. I was feeling like the IIM B selection procedure had already started with my coolness and negotiating skills being put to test.

"Auto , IIM B"
"Rs 50"
"Ok Chalo" He had no idea how much more i was willing to pay!

I must be thankful to the autowala who showed the emergency in his driving to reach my destination just on time.

8.58AM: I was running to the IIM building . I solved the maze to reach my interview spot by carefully negotiating my way through the board signs " IIM B interview -> " scattered here and there.

Bibhash da's sms " Goi pali ne?? " (Did u reach?? )

9.ooAM: I replied "Yes, Just now." got the best wishes. I thanked my stars for making me reach the spot. Though, two other guys in the same panel as me didnt make it on time . May be they decided to skip. Can anyone really skip IIMB ? May be .. may be not..

9:05AM: In the essay room, topic was " Union budget is an useless exercise as the policies are never implemented properly and unforseen situations like recession can shatter the entire plan"

10mins to think and 20mins to write was just too much time. I wrote a near perfect essay filling it with facts and figures and taking a stand against the topic. I was lucky as I had reviewed the budget plan the night before. :)

9:35AM: outside once again, discussing with a few guys about the essay.
And then the long wait for the interview started, as I was the last guy to be interviewed. After studying my competitors for sometime, I had that unknown confidence that today would be one of my best performances. I kept that belief and didnt divert myself too much by discussing with the other guys in detail about how the interviews were going. Though, I had the information that the interviewers were cool.

"Innovation is successful disobedience" was written on one of the walls.

12:20 PM: I was invited in.
Me: Good afternoon Sir.
P1: So Mr Subrata, you must be hungry huh..
Me: No Sir
P1: No?
Me: Had a good breakfast, Sir. ( I Lied . I was damn hungry! )
P1: But that was long back.. Anyways,.. so as u are the last guy, you must be already knowing what we have been asking huh..
Me: Not exactly sir, as i didnt ask in details to the interviewees about what exactly is being asked inside.
P1: SO were u sitting aloof not talking to anyone?
Me: No Sir, I have a general idea about the interviewers mood and the flow of the interviews. But I didnt go into specific details as I just want to be myself here without being encumbered by the experiences of others.
P1: Ok..so what shall we ask you?
Me: You can ask me about my life, my achievements, work experience...
P1: Ok tell me about your achievements..
Me: BLah - blah..
P1: Tell me 3 significant events of 2009..
Me: could ans only two ...
P2: gave me some numerical to calculate the longitude of a place by giving the time difference between two places.
Me: Solved it but after taking some time.
P2: work ex
Me: BLah-blah..
P3: again on work ex
Me: More confident blah-blah.
P3: about hardware companies difficulties..
Me: no technology parks, no govt funding .. compared to china which funds massively in hardware companies. Spoke about anti dumping case and all...

P2: Ok that wil be enough.. Thank you.
Me : Thanking everyone
P1: Do u ve to ask anything.
Me: No sir
P1: NO?
Me: I dont have to ask anything right now sir.
P1: Ok
Me: (forgot if i thanked them once again b4 leaving)

12:45PM: Came outside feeling confused. Is IIM B gone or m I in? This was the college I dreamed of joining everyday of my stay in bangalore.

28 Apr, 2010:

Verdict: Converted
Decision: Will not be joining.. Why ? will be writing in my next post :) :)

A case of suicide.

2010-04-19T12:34:00.000-07:00

I was just happily going through the blogs of my newly added friend in orkut when i stumbled upon a post by one of my friend hari. The moment i read it, i was kind of confused as it was about hari's best friend mahesh. The post hari wrote was on mahesh's death.

The realization that mahesh was dead came to me as a silent shock that shuddered the depths of my mind. Though I didnt know mahesh personally , but I got aquainted to him through his comments in hari's blog as he was always the first one to drop in a word or two in his blogs.
An unbelievable moment for me as it is, I cant still fathom how could this situation have arisen in the first place. It was a case of suicide.

Going by the eulogies which his friends has showered on him posthumously, I can very easily infer that he was of the league of those rare genuises, that special species which has the knack to excel in whatever they chose to. An IIT graduate going on to join Irvine University California for research in mechanical and aerospace engg speaks about his technical brilliance . Suicide never looked like a thing that could have broken through his tremendous zeal for learning and jest for life. But it somehow did.

Mahesh blogs before his death is a chilling confession of his intentions to commit the unthinkable act but in a very lyrically crypt way. The most scary is his profile pic which just says "I was here !" .This may have been a cruel coincidence.Wish someone had deciphered his messages before he committed the act. Maybe he was giving the world a last chance to hold him back if it could . But it couldnt.

It gives me shivers just thinking what he must had been going through when he penned down those blogs knowing that people will be reading those after he erases himself from this world , when he changed his profile pic to the one which he knew he will never need to change again.

"Shit man! why did u do this.. i dont knw u but i really want to ask u.. why??? what gave you the inspiration to do this when u could ve done so much more in ur life? RE-reading your pre-suicide blogs quite a few times, my humble mind could smell a case of unrequited love and if that really is the case it will be the most undeserving ends of a budding legacy that you could ve created."

This whole act has quite shaken me . I cant fathom tomorrow my friends, my loved ones disappearing forever in this manner. I dont know how I will even cope with such an event if it happens to strike me ever. And i dont want to know also.

Suicide is an act of cowardice to which one resorts to in circumstances and in reasons, which still intrigues and disgusts the human world equally. Its a mystery how the human mind gathers the strength to kill itself. And in this case to leave a trail on the net to help onlookers gather evidence that lead to his self taken decision just speaks too much of his state of mind. Its scary and inconceivably dark. Horrifying.

I have my pity for the entire case. But this act cant be justified however volcanic or titanic the problems which mahesh might have had faced. I want to voice my concerns here because otherwise it can act as a very bad precedent for the many other strugglers like us. We cant simply accept defeat just because the situation is not favourable to us.

Mahesh was a naturally talented genius gifted in many ways. Not all are lucky to have those attributes. If someone was equipped fully to fight off this kind of a tendency it should have been him. His accepting defeat can deter the hopes of many other less talented guys who struggles with their own issues in life. Dying is not a solution, it can never be. We have to fight and win inspite of intial defeats . This is how life is defined and this is how it has to be dealt with.

The Others

2010-01-19T09:41:00.000-08:00

Prologue: Since childhood one thing which has captured my fascination is Ghosts. And I have waited for my moment to witness them with my own eyes. And as I grow, I feel my moment is coming closer.
================================

That flat is a 2BHk apartment with 3 guys X,Y and Z living in it. Its a slightly old apartment with the owners staying abroad . The residents are my close buddies. As a bachelors abode you will be able to imagine how the week starts and ends in that house . This was one similar weekend when all were partying hard and high: the music was ear cracking loud , the room smoky and dimly lit with junk food sprawled all over amid beer bottles rolling aimlessly.

Everything was fine until the clock struck midnight when Mr X was forced by mother nature to attend a call to the toilet. There as he was smoking and letting off the heaviness go which, seemed like it will flow on till infinity, he heard someone uttering his name. The state in which his mind was , its obvious that the thought of "the others" calling him didnt occur to him ,...at that instant. . . But, as he was was washing his hands, the unknown voice called him once again... "Xxx" . This time .. his sense woke him up .. he sensed an undefined presence close to him... eerieness ran through his mind... as he could feel a dead coldness beside him... He came out of the toilet and joined back the party... his tipsiness was gone for the night.

The next morning, when X disclosed the incident.. it was obvious that the others would laugh it away.... and they did . The matter silenced down and even X forgot about it... but not till long.

One fine night, at around 3 am, Y woke up all on a sudden. In his sleep, he could hear someone walking briskly in the room. In the darkness he could see almost nothing: the Tv was off with the remote controlled led still glowing silently in green, his lappy was in standby state snoozing, the curtains of the room were drawn , the door was locked , the sofa was overloaded with dirty clothes , all piled up untidily forming ugly shapes in the dark, the sound of water leaking almost silently, the sound of the fan speeding at top speed... everything seemed ok in the room.... but it was not...
Amidst those shapes in the sofa, he saw a real human shape sitting , watching. It was nodding its head as if it was in rhythm with song of the dark.. Y kept his nerve.. He stood up silently and ran to X's room wanting to call him... No one was there in X's room.. Y was getting hysterical.
He woke up Z hurriedly and came stealthily back to his room.. But till then the shape was gone..

Where was X??? X was in the toilet , standing, facing the mirror and smiling as if in a trance. They woke him up and he fainted.

=================================
Epilogue: This really happened guys.. no kidding... But after that the activities ceased.. or may be they still are active but in a passive manner... waiting for the right moment to communicate if anyhing they have .... X tells they and "the others" are co existing in harmony... Lets hope so .. what say...

Everytime I go to stay at their place, I feel an unexplained excitement as well as fear , may be this time i will see something..

But till now fortunately as well as unfortunately nothing has happened that i could be blogging about. May be something will turn the heat on , the next time...

How Many more States , India.?

2009-12-11T23:23:00.000-08:00

So f**kz come fast !!!! and get your own state.. yes dats how it seems happens in India. !!! You may just need to survive somehow 10 - 12 days and you may get bestowed with your own state..

Forgive my expletives but thats how I really feel right now.

Mahatma Gandhi when he introduced the satyagraha movement , never would ve imagined the extent to which it can be misused . He fasted and extracted India out of slavery to create a nation that holds Unity in Diversity.. and as the years of unprecedented under development started all over the country except in some regions where prosperity survived , brewed up a growing unrest and restlessness in the regions where development was an alien word.

And came one more Gandhian campaigner(Poti Sriramulu) , who fasted for two months ,to which he eventually lost his life , and created the state of Andhra Pradesh.. and as the saying goes History repeats itself... exactly 57 years later AP itself is on the verge of split . Significantly , in the modern technologically advanced world which claims to get things done faster , the fast itself was
tremendously shortlived (11 days) to get a separate state .... No wonder the cheap vote bank politics is leading India nowhere

States are being created with the vision of bringing in prosperity to that region. And how many such states were created. First of all the creation of the seven sisters in the north east and how much have they developed....?? Foreign countries are turning their eyes on them and these countries are bold enough to express their dis content if the Indian PM visits these states! These states have developed so much that the rest of India does not even consider them as Indians.. n these states ofcourse have the lowest levels of pollution.. not because of the govt doin a good job there but because there is no development in the first place to cause any pollution.

In the big states, unequal distribution of resources and massive indifference for not years but decades , provides appropriate ground for the power hungry political parties to raise the issue of separate states for these underdeveloped regions. This demand for separate states houses the promise of development for these regions claiming to bring them at par with the so called developed states. But how many such claims have been delivered?

The centre uses such sentiments of people in affected areas by promising them their demands in lieu for their support. But not always promises can be procrastinated forever, as was evident in the case of Telangana. Promises undelivered promises only and only further aggravation . Better dont promise if standing upto it impairs your ability to stand itself.

Does the formation of one more state in India answers all unanswered questions..? I dont think so.. This encourages other such groups with similar demands to engender their movement as success looks more likely now than ever before.. Key ingredient to success:: Fast frends!! or kya..! (10 -20 days should do it..)

Bifuraction and division will lead to how much success is a doubtful concept. If these regions claim to flourish on division why cant they do the same without division. People may argue that on being an independent state , allocation of resources and attention will be more and hence development is possible. Was this not the same logic which was applied in the initial division of states of India.? Is this just not the same.. Tomorrow its very much possible that the states which were created themselves divide once again to nurture the interests of other such neglected groups within them. Its a gradual process of division that just wont stop.

What is the guarantee that on being separate they will develop.? And what is the step to be taken if they still fail to develop? Will they divided again...?? Yes, that looks like a step to put your bet on considering the present state of things..

If we support division as the way for making India a developed country . Why not make more and more states then ...States much smaller logically seems easier to manage and prosper. Does this even looks logical ... No...

What is required is true intent of the people governing them to deliver what is promised. No matter how big or how small a region is the all round prosperity depends on its human resource ultimately.

On a funny note , I read the opposition to the formation of Telangana have decided to fast now indefinitely...lolz... how is the centre going to deal with this.. May be even they will start fasting

The Drunken Mind is Back.

2009-10-15T11:55:00.000-07:00

Carry it.. Will you forever ?
Caress it and forsake it never?
In your little heart warm,
And away from harm.

I gave my heart to you then,
And I never once knew when;
How I never once thought,
It was always you, I sought;

Let the sands of time halt to a dot,
Let the winds of change touch not,
This last moment that I got ;
When I see you with me sing,
The song that our hearts string;

Will the moon for me come down,
And in my love, make your heart drown;
Will the moon for me speak true,
In a words few , that I love you;

I gift you my heart forever,
But sadly, I will now know never;
Beautiful you look, in this bridal gown,
Eyes closed, brows without a frown.
On this bed of roses, 6 feet down.

Dear, One last time open your eyes,
I have had enough of your lies;
Your denial killed you, not I,
You loved me, yet you die,
You Always loved me, dont you lie.

What a bitch life is..!

2009-09-06T08:48:00.000-07:00

Author's Note: Excerpt taken from a book , which i read recently. I found it worth sharing.

"Love.it happens only once... n did i experience it?? i reallly dont know... but i did encounter one girl whom i thought i really liked.. n liked more than likeness permits.....She was very sweet and nice to me... n i had this feeling that i could do anything for her and when i say anything i really mean it.... i gave her thousand indications that i love her, that i want to be more than just a friend , that shez my life... but she never once responded.. I cant blame her.. May be she never liked me the way i did... I did whatever i could within my limits to help her, to support her whenver she needed... I never felt like this before.. I was happy just thinking about her..just hearing her sweet voice... with simple expectations that ultimately she will love mee.... and why should nt I , We used to talk whenever we felt like ... we didnt care what hour of the night it was... what people will think about it... it was just us... We used to share everything ... we used to fight, we usd to love each others company.. though we rarely met.. still we were so close... I could hear it wheneve she was in trouble.... dont know how things wuld ve turned if we were in the same city.. i was willin to gve it a chance... i was willin to give whatever we had a try as i knew that what we shared was somethin special which only a few on earth can experience.. But.....

She never once understood....... Now we dont talk ... why ?? i dont know.. may be one sided love has an expiry date after all ... it cant be termed friendship... Girls have this feelings ..i wll say insecurity... that boys will cheat them... will take them for a ride n then leave them.. though many will but all wont .. there are always a few.. who will never do that.. they cant even think of such obscenity... for them its a different game all together .. one that involves life and death.. they do deserve a chance... one chance... But they never get.....

People say girls use boys.. but doesnt friendship mean that only in an encrypted manner... why wont a friend help his frend when she needed him most.. he cant stop it.. its not in his nature... he will give his life if required.. n then people say girls are smart.. may be they are.. but are they.. ??

In the end she couldnt even recognize what she could have had, had she given this foolish ass hole one decent chance.. only time will say who played it betteer.. ultimately life is a game that wont end in 20 overs, in 50 overs or in one innings.... it wil go on...."

PS: Resemblance to anyone dead or alive is purely intended.

Romeo and Juliet.

2009-05-30T01:12:00.000-07:00

So dear friends, well m back ....And here is something interesting... Please dont mistake this as my story... but this is inspired from a true story....:) : )

Romeo and Juliet :

===================================================

Well, Romeo met Juliet on a saturday evening lovely,

Soon he found a meaning in his life newly,

And Romeo's life turned into a morning overnight;

Juliet, a sweet smile and a pretty sight;

Every feelings, every thought they shared,

Happiness into his life she bared;

The lady of Romeo's dream was Juliet,

Love struck him , aah like a bullet;

Each moment they spend was a wonder token,

Romeo got into a committment unspoken;

But they havent yet met,

And still blessed with no date set;

Distance was not a matter,Romeo surmised,

Juliet was his life's best surprise;

Romeo said, Dear, so much you i miss,

Juliet said,Dear,You are destiny's sweetest kiss;

And then came saint Valentine's best;

Romeo asked Juliet out for the next;

Juliet flashed a smile with care,

Dear,so soon how did you dare;

Finally Romeo met Juliet one fine day,

And was left with nothing to say;

Swept from his feet he was,

Love and only love it was;

Then Juliet soon went to a land new,

Away from Romeo and his crew;

Pain with hope it was for him,

Love wont so easily dim;

Days became long and nights longer,

Romeo grew restless and breathless;

For Juliet's calls he would wait ,

But he would never get;

Romeo searched for that thing lost,

Yes, with her it was still there;

And hope came back in a flicker,

Along with a few moments of shiver;

I Love You, Romeo said,

You are the one Juliet;

I know there is more than this ,

Every moment with you is bliss;

Juliet replied, You are my friend sweet,

Please dont do this shit;

We talk and thats all,

How can you with me in love fall;

Romeo: But the way we share,

I felt you really care;

Juliet: Care i do for many,

Why you behaving so uncanny?

So friendship it was for Romeo,

But yes he enjoyed a nice little cameo;

Juliet was as innocent as poison sweet,

No wonder Juliet,Romeos have become your treat;

But what Romeo didnt understand;

If this is friendship, where does love stand;

Sadly for Love, Friendship could never depart ,

Romeo returned back to pavilion, retired hurt;

===================================================

Wonder how Juliet will react after reading this?? Romeo you may be murdered...:):)

IN OOTY...

2009-01-02T11:21:00.000-08:00

A breath taking ride that at times threatened to take our breathe away...but undettered , we geared up .Had to take a break at around 15 more such hair pin bends away from the valley.
One and a half hour later , we reached ooty and soon after found a decent hotel to stay...

In the evening we decided to go out for a walk, and experience the chilling cold. But being IT employees net seems not be leave your ass easily, we all ended up in a net cafe as we had to book return tickets for Dewal. The night was chilllin cold and even a jacket with sweater seemed not enough to protect from the piercing cold.
For this particular night, which i choose to term as the 'Blue Label' night, we ordered special food as tonight the Johnny was coming! Though i was not in a mood that night, but Dewal who actually got this genuine bottle of scotch from UK really was .
He had after all waited for this night since the day he had bought that ultimate piece of art...
Though Johnny ,the Blue one, is best with ice , our great waiters couldnt understand , what ice means. Every time we asked them about ice they used to respond with something far exceeding our minimal expectatiosns...the best one being , 2 bottles of sur welaam (lukewarm water).
Unabashed by these initial setbacks , we let the Blue night begin... And as we got gripped in its splendour , the night seemed more and more serene.
Dewal was the one who got the kick most as he was the one who had carved for it the most....and also he was the one who had brought it from foreign.....after all it was a drink worth 18k in India.
I didnt realize it initially ..but later understood how much it meant for him to have this drink with his closest friends...Bibs and Ani...( i was just lucky to be there!)...going to the UK and getting the very best for his closest friends just for this one night to spend together spoke hugely about the bond of friendship that they shared...the sense of accomplishment was writ large on his face(see the pic--->isnt it??)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day as u can imagine didnt start early, and by the time we started it was already afternoon.So no wonder that we could visit only one sight scene location , the Ooty Lake.
The boat ride we took was fun.
And then we went to an ancient 18th century shrine.

Early next morning we started our journey back .....on the way down those hair pin bends ....we could smell something was heating up...the brake shoes of our car had gone wildly hot due to some wrong driving application ....we had to take a break for around one hour to allow them to cool down...

The only signs of wildlife we saw while travelling through Bandipur National Park...were a few elephants grazing in the sun...this has prompted us to take another trip to bandipur and this time to take the forest department safari which promises much more...

So till next time..Cheers!!

Grand Finale 2008!!

2008-12-31T23:53:00.000-08:00

So the year ended....and by the grace of Almighty(is he Bruce or Evan??)..i had a blast in the last two months of the year..each day was a better day than the last and i was(am) happy...though occassionally bored but then i stumbled upon an ultimate source of entertainment....[:)] (whats dat i cant say right now!)

The christmas weekend this year was one of the best. We four, me, my bro(bibs), ani and dewal...took our car and headed  250 km south wards from bangalore towards Mudumalai National Park , Tamil Nadu on the 25 th to experience the untamed Wild wild life . Speeding away at around 100kms/hr , and with the all time hit classic rock songs being played on the background, the ride was totally awesome!!

Reaching mysore, our first break was on a road side dhaba where after a short refreshment session we headed of again , another 110 kms was there to cover and it was gettin dark slowly. The road was not a four lane highway anymore, and was more of a bumpy dusty kind and with bull carts being pulled on both sides of the road, our progress slowed down greatly even though my bro tried his best to keep floorin at around 80km/hr..he really drove fast even under those conditions..great driver i agree...

After around 2 hours more of riding, we entered the dreaded forest(Bandipur National Park) where verappan once prowled...it was a moonless night...really scary ride with dense forests on both sides and a very narrow road. We almost brushed through the trees. The sign boards spoke heavily of the unspoken danger that existed in those lands. 'Elephant Territory.'Blow no horn' , ' U are in the den of Wildlife..Be a silent traveller', "No Pics, No Parking(who the hell wil park there anyway??)', 'Wildlife passing route', and many more.

The best one  i saw was 'I beg u not to feed me!!' with a pic of a baboon with all his beautiful teeths exposed. All on a sudden we discovered , we were the only vehicle in that road...it really turned the fear buttons on..we just drove as fast as possible defying the 40km/hr limit . And soon  found the others once we re joined the main road. Actually we had diverted off onto an untaken route.

Once Karnataka was crossed, we entered into Mudumalai National Park, Tamil Nadu...40 minutes later we reached the forest resort which we had booked for the night ....and there unfolded the events of the night.

It was not very cold, but a chilling wind was piercing through. It was pitch dark and we had the feeling that there an unseen danger , smeelling humans , just at the backyard sittin silently watching and waiting to pounch. Amidst all these we decided to party outside and with the music system of the car turned on at a slow volume, it provided the perfect ambiece for a long deep high night.

Loaded with the most expensive imported drinks like Johnny walker-Blue Label , Glenmorangie (courtesy dewal) and Malibu..it was an unforgetful night and a night to cherish for many days. Time just flew away and when i ate some dinner and slept of on the bed of the eight bedded dormitory , i dont remember even  now.

Next morning i was the first one to wake up and  what i saw outside was absolute beauty. There were some wild birds basking outside and hoping to  take some pics, slowly approached near them to find  to my utter disgust  that those were some statutes of birds(u know  what  caused this right..??) The safari which they promised was also not an inforest ride but only through the same road which we rode on the night.

Since we were only 28kms away from ooty so , we decided to head off towards ooty. Only problem was to reach ooty we had to cross 36 hair pin bends---a damn dangerous task for us..
This pic on my right shows the 8 dorm house where we stayed.

====================================================================
So 36 hair pin bends, we chose to undertake and soon after set off ........(to be continued)

M getting Tagged!

2008-12-06T01:23:00.000-08:00

First one ..so bear with me...

The Tag:

Being tagged by Hari, these tag ques are basically taken from him. Its about contemplating on a few things in life.

Yesterday:

hmm...let me think.

Your oldest Memories..
I took around ten minutes thinking yaar..n still thinking....quite old huh..??

My life started in a BRPL colony. Its a peaceful place with a silent atmosphere, where the days are quiet and the nights are quieter. And in that pacific ambience lived one little , sweet boy with an inclination towards innovative destruction. He was the 'dennis the menace' kind of character of the colony. And in one of his many adventures he shot a crow baby dead with a catapult . Till now its him , so where do i fit in?...
In that very fine morning when he after committing this act of  rare chivalry was basking off in the paddy field ( with the American cowboy music playing behind), i was sent by my mom to summon him back home. And in the way as i was running towards him , a huge bird landed on my head and scalped off a large patch of my hair...man, yeah..it literally pulled out my hair!

It was the crow whose baby martyred in the hands of my bro....he was my bro!

What were you doing 10 years ago...
Dec 1998...hmm...my annual exams of class 6 would have just got over...and i remember having an interest in painting then. And in this vacation , i did one grt thing..(m not sure if it was exactly this vac...but its worth telling...:)...). Since the very first day of my school , i liked one girl(nursey class..too much right,....but thats how it was...i used to cry if she didnt come to school....) . In this vac, for the first time i went to her house. But alas, she was not there dat day.

I came back after her mom fed me with britannia biscuits.

Today:

Your first thought in the morning

Today was really a nice day...I woke up early (10 am)..and my first thought was abt the dream i was seeing..its vague now ...but yeah i remember...i saw dostana yesterday...so u can imagine what the nature of my dream would be...it was scary man...

But then i remembered....i had to go to learn biking today from one of my friend. (what happened in that session, when i was learning biking, is another blog...)

If you built a time-capsule today, what would it contain ?

time capsule....first of all m i goin to the past or future...??
 
PAST: I would have taken a gun for sure...there are a lot of people in this world who should not have been born...
And if its an ancient past, it might give me the status of a GOD with such sophisticated devices. A bike will also be good..(provided i learn it by then..). And  something like wikipedia will be handy..(hari ,wiki cant be left right?)

FUTURE: To go to the future is very risky...may be we will start living in Mars by then. Or maybe Al-qaida will make the world a Afghanistan...or maybe aliens will attack....or the sun will dry out....i dont wanna go so far..present is best...a visit to the past is preferred though!

Tomorrow:

This year?

A nice year ..almost over though. Started earning and learning many new technologies. I became an engineer in this year..so its a milestone year anyway. And one of my well thought out thoughts worked perfectly this year....

I recharged my mobile for 500 in jan this year..that is at start of 8th sem ...and its validity is ending in 27Dec..At that time i thought by the time this validity will be over , my engineering shall be validated.( i meant i should get a job by then)..and it turned true...

What you see yourself doing 14 years from now ..?

14 years....should be married ofcourse....with a beautiful wife...And i should be working as the Director -Engineering of some kick ass new technology....may be 'mind- reading', 'invisible man concept'..even the'time-capsule' cant be ruled out...

I also have a dream of going to all the greatest sanctuaries of this world.. savanna, kalahari, amazon...everything..(national geography effect!)  .maybe i will be on such a safari then....camping in a wild forest ,where u can hear the lion roaring just beside you, and the temperature gone below human limits. And yeah i  almost forgot ,  m not alone, theres a blonde hot babe with me too...

I Tag:

The first lady who reads this blog tomorrow morning........(or at least leave a comment yaar..[:)]..)

its quite late m sleeping sleeping ...bye

Bored!!!

2008-11-20T08:42:00.000-08:00

I can see the sun set through my window , the last birds of the evening are flying towards their abode. I lay jobless as one more day approaches its end. With the last cigarette of the day already over, its a gloomy evening ahead unless i go and get some more. The music is playing on my headphones at the highest volume it can possibly play. Its an attempt to shut myself out from the outer world lost in the melody of HIM.

I am unaware where my life is heading. With the cat over,one more time and with that my fragile hopes were crushed once more. Though i wont say , i screwed my butt out for it but you still know the human mind right..?...it wishes to deserve things which it probably doesnot deserve with the amount of effort invested.

Here at home. the crazy kant family is going at its 'badoor' speed. Just being over with a wild viral run that took out one by one , each of the brave kants, its time for some contemplation. The last man to fall was P_kant.

One more weekend is on its way to come offer a kiss and leave tempting us for the next one. But is this what i am left to desire , just another weekend. Is there nothing else waiting ahead except a sick weekend , which we will probably pass sleeping , at most a few more pegs will slip through the throat, invoking the drunken mind once again.I dont know.

In one of the crazy kant-discussions( that often take place here) we were pondering how life would have been, had it started not the way it starts. I mean how would it be had it been ninety when u were born. Every passing day you would grow younger, energetic and with every passing day your possibilities will increase. With evey passing day you will realize that u are living more, and not approahing one step closer towards the end.

You will know that at around fifty you will be most successful , your peak and life after that i.e at forties , probably you will be having a couple of buggin kids. And the years head i.e at around thirties would be the time when you would probably be busy( unless something very likely these days st(e)rile...sorry strike you) analyzing what the process of rapid to and fro oscilations has to offer you.And further ahead ie at twenties , your lab works would start where if you are smart enough you would get to experiment with another species, which God has wisely left for our species to explore.

As life would get younger every passing day, every next day will be a day more beautiful than the previous one. You would know the results of the exam before you gave them . You would know which project of your life would turn you into a master of your field and which caused your doom. You would know which girls rejected you and which ones were foolish enough to fall for you. You would know which of your dreams succedded and which remainded as dreams. The enemies and friends will be clearer and above all it would be easier to find the love of your life( from the species i mentioned above, unless u are a subdivision of the species i belong to. In which case you would be happy with one amongst us)

Enticing isint?..The possibilies are infinite. But alas, this is not what you are so lucky to enjoy. Its left only to the mind to conceive all these and earn a smile pondering over these seemingly unlikely possibilities.

So another fucked up weekend it is for us right now...enjoy...n yeah CHEERS

Come Neighbours, Play Diwali Here!

2008-10-30T06:52:00.000-07:00

So just one day after Diwali got over, our neighbouring friends decided to show how interested they too are in celebrating this great Indian festival, with us. The crackers they blasted in Assam today proves how enthusiastic they are to celebrate. But was it an accident that the crackers they blasted were slightly more powerful and slighlty more destructive? Was it an accident that around 60 died in their celebrations and hundreds are knocking on the doors of heaven?
Can this be forgiven as a mistake committed by a friend? A mistake ,that they have developed a penchant for, to continue repeating.

These friends of ours love diwali so much that they showed us the beauty of their crackers in Jaipur in May itself. But being novices, in playing this game , they accidentally caused the death of around 100 people.
In a country where more than 100 crore people live, if a few hundreds die in the hands of our sweet neighbours and that too in an accident is forgivable, isinit?

The country decided to forgive and move on , after all we follow the path of Mahatma Gandhi, Ahimsa. Infact He preached if slapped on one cheek, put forward the other cheek too. Does that mean that we allow our neighbouring friends to continue playing this death games?

June was a silent month. The silence before the impending storm, was it?

Next in line was Bangalore in July, where these guys , practised the festival of crackers and lights, but in a more careful way. Casualty being only 2. This was a good sign, India thought, our neighbours are learning to play the game .
' Enjoy the festival, no accidents please. Two died, OK. Try to be more careful in the future', India said. Our neighbours replied 'No problem mate, sorry for these casualities. Will not repeat the same in future' How touching , and how understanding India is to the mistakes which our neighbours commit in our land.

Ahmedabad was turned into a death play ground by the end of July, killing another 60 people. India kept mum; tensed but quiet. 'They need more time to learn' , It thought.

Our dear friends, remained silent in the month of August. Were they practising the beautiful sport in their own home ? Rightly so , a small cracker was blasted in a hospital in Pakistan's north west in Aug, 19, 2008, killing at least 10 people.I dont know ,how much more they must have practised. But this was newz.

And what about Bangladesh ? Was it not practising? Of course yes. In Aug , 4, 2008, a fire broke out in a hotel in Dhaka in a hotel where around 20 were charred to death. Reasons unknown. But i can guess this was just another misfire of diwali crackers.Maybe they are not using Standard crackers, from Sivakashi . Look how much they are trying to reach upto us.

In September they returned. This time , they selected Delhi, India's proud capital as the ground for celebration. Again 30 died and 90 faced fight with death. India tolerated, yet another mistake. After all, India has a big heart. It believes not in the policy of 'live and let live' rather its like,

" A brother in arm , A friend u are,
Kill us all fair and square;
We forgive and let you live,
We die and let you survive;"

So isint, India great?
And today at the end of October, our friends have celebrated once again . And this time in a more grand way. They have unleashed a total of 18 blasts and they have committed mistakes worth hundreds of lives.
And as usual India will forgive.

Dont worry neighbours, we allow your mistakes. And if possible do
bring Standard Crackers, the sound is much more. We Indians love sound, we love Diwali.And yeah, any time, any month! So play on!!!

kahin to hogi wo....

2008-10-13T12:28:00.000-07:00

This is a song (jaane tu ya jaane na) which after many years has really touched my heart and this is not the words of the drunken mind but its me who is speaking. I make a humble attempt here to translate this beautiful song into english.

----------------------Kahin to Hogi wo----------------------------
Somewhere....somewhere
it must be.
The world , where u are with me;

Where me , and where you,
and where, only your and my feelings live;
Where my morning will be,
in the light of your eye lips;
Where the hymn of the moon ,i will,
listen to at your arms;

Dont know where that world is,
Dont even know if it exists,
Where my life would not be ,
So displeased with me;

My breaths are lost, i dont know, waiting for whom;
I am lost, i dont know, on whose embracing arms;
I search for paths to my destination,
now i have lost track of my destination amidst the paths;

Somewhere..somewhere is,
a mesmerism, in each of our dates;
From my lips to your lips,
we stay on each of our words as a kiss;

Where the wind tells ,
About only your land and sky;
Where you are my smile,
My happiness and my life;

Dont know where that world is,
Dont even know if it exists,
Where my life would not be ,
So displeased with me;

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Whatever is written below is bullshit and will not be taken seriously unless u are on the same boat as the drunken mind.
For all of my readers(assholes) , searching for their soul mates, this is a song which you can dedicate to the girl with whom u think u can spend the rest of your (useless) life. Actually this has quite reminded me of my ex girl friend. But Alas, an ex is an ex and as the wiseman says the past is best forgotten. I dont even know how many of you (crap ass souls) will hit on this blog but yeah if u do then dont delay anymore and atleast once listen to the drunken mind.

forgive for the bracketted comments as he cant stop himself....sorry.

Mama M coming Home!

2008-10-04T12:56:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: 'Its a purely fictional creation of the Drunken Mind', thats what he had hoped and he still hopes!

P_kant: 22 years of age, software engineer,aspiring MBA->CAT. Only aspiration and no perspiration is the recipe for continued aspiration.
S_kanti: 27 years of age, financial consultant, aspiring MBA ->GMAT. Retired from aspiration after running out of perspiration.
D_k(c)unt: 27 years of age, financial consultant,MBA-> its a sip of his cup at any time ( he thinks); only problem being he never found out the time;BTW he is the leader of this legen.....WAIT 4 IT....darrrrrry , yeah legendary group.

All three have a single purpose in mind : To go home, on this Durga Puja.

The only mistake they committed was it was a decision taken a bit too late.

Their home being 3020 km away, and the flight charges being soaring high , the only option of travel was train. It was a good choice as a train journey with company is always fun. As train tickets were already wait listing, an unanimous decision was taken for opting tatkal tickets , five days before the day of departure.

With that in mind all three heroes continued with their daily work and activities , totally unaware of the approaching troubles. Going home after many days, all made their share of expenditure buying gifts for kith and kin. The irctc site showed 8 , 43 , 143 seats on various classes of travel , reserved as tatkal quota. Around 300 (thats what they thought) tickets being available , the foolhardys were sure of getting 4 2ac seats. (3+1 , the 1 is their house keeper), of the 8 2ac seats available(Just look at their stupid confidence!). The worst case scenario was .....wait..they will get 4 2ac seats...No alternate scenario neither any alternate plan forseeing any oddity .

In between a prudent human being gave them a bit of advice, for looking out for some alternate way of getting the tatkal tickets using some unknown resource. But our dudes simply turned those words down, never even caring to think a penny over it.

So with spirits high they prepared for that weekend when they had to get those tickets. Let me tell u what their plan was, that night they will party out..and in the early morning at 4'o' clock they will head towards the booking counter.Being undoubtedly the first one to stand in the queue...it was just a matter of going , gettin those goddamned tickets, come back home, party again and then sleep...Sounds wondddaarful isint??

And they did it exactly as planned...D_kunt did not even sleep one bit the entire night..the other two kants got a bite of sleep.D_kunt being the leader thought it was his responsibility to see that the mission passes through safe..n smooth. P_kant and S_kanti woke up somehow at around 4:30 am and still with hopes of being the first one to stand in the queue headed fast to the BDA.
D_kunt stayed back as he had to hunt for those tickets online.

As the two kants reached the BDA, to their unbelievable_ground_vanishing_beneath_feet surprise saw around 30 more people standig in the queue ,some from 11pm (the day before). Their house keeper, Suppandi was made to stand in the queue immediately. P_kant being the more calculative one , found out the probability of their getting the , not 2ac now, 3ac tickets at around 80% and with the superbbackup at homewith D_kunt holding fort over the internet, a fine probability of around 89% emerged for getting the 4 3ac tickets.S_kanti was satisfied with that calculation.

Suppandi stood in the queue, open mouthed, staring here and there , thoughtlessly; and with raw rural pride he thought he wont allow any assholes to go infront of him. But soon he was at the 40th position in the queue. And with his masters, the two kants, (they were enjoying outside, the morning breeze and the early chirpings of the birds)not around he was still having his virgin confidence , unaware that his virginity was lost long back. When the kants returned , they were dismayed at this arrogant fool, but S_kanti advised 'no point crying over split milk'. The probability has shrunk low by around 2%, they deciphered.

Meanwhile the leader D_kunt was fighting his own fight; sleep was encroaching into his defence fast and furiously; somehow he sat staring at the monitor screen . His plan to stay awake and see the entire mission passes by smoothly was faltering into a rough patch.It was just 6.30 am . 90 minutes more for the booking counter to open. IT was a long battle ahead, he did ...not.. realize.

He booked the tickets , they were going home happily in 2 ac, comfortable and cozy...zzz..at a distance the sound of snoring was resonating.
In the booking counter the two kantis were enjoying the beautiful creations of God, around and Suppandi was day dreaming..he was in his village in the lush green paddy fields, playing ringa ringa roses with his basanti.

The moment of test arrived at sharp 8 'o' clock, D_kunt was brought back to his senses over the phone and he actively logged on to the great irctc site. P_kant removed Suppandi from the queue and took over as the moment had arrived. As P_kant's turn to take the tickets arrived at exactly 8.04 am , D_kunt called excited that he had done it , the tickets are finally booked...4 tickets in 2 ac. S_kanti jumped in happiness and clapped out loud , attracting quite a many eyes. P_kant withdrew from the line satisfied that the days job is done.Suppandi was also happy guessing that something good must have happened.

But then D_kunt called . The tickets he had booked in tatkal were in waiting list. As chaos descended in full force, P_kant somehow managed to get into the line to try for the tickets again. Tatkal booking was closed by then , even waiting list was over for all classes.

The fucked up irctc site didnt even prompt that the tickets were in waiting list. Only after the tickets were booked did the kants come to know about the trick played on them by shit. May be if the tickets were opted for in sleeper class , this would not have happened. But sleeper class was after all their worst scenario. The problem was they didnt realize that their worst case was their only case. Not until now.

The two kants returned back home defeated. Their foolish calculations had landed them nowhere. Suppandi was blank faced unable to comprehend the seriousness of the shit they were in.

What was their next option?..Should the plan be dropped?

S_kanti and D_kunt unable to take the reality ,went out to look out for some other route to get those tickets; somehow. It was a bit too late they still didnt realize. They found out a TT who helped hapless souls like the kants trapped in such situations, The TT offered that'something might be there' ofcourse at the right price. A frickle of hope.

By evening the news came that the TT was sacked.

Meanwhile P_kant was pretty sure that these last minute efforts will anyway end up in smoke, though he would not have minded if any of these blind darts somehow did manage to hit the bulls eye. So, he had looked up the flight prices. And by around 11 'o' clock three flight tickets for around 33k was booked , ofcourse in credit card. As for suppandi alternate tickets in train were booked for some other days.

A total credit of around 40k charged on a single day, thanks to the efficient planning of the great kants. Only the legendary kants could have managed such a thing.But the imp point was P_kant, S_kanti, D_kunt ultimately did realize their plan, no matter whatever twists and turns of fate they caused by their own actions. The repercussions of this decision..?..well lets leave that to fate for the time being...

:for more updates on the Kant adventures do keep logging on to this site

The Drunken mind logs off wishing you all Happy Durga Puja!

;;;;E;;n;;g;;L;;i;;s;;H;;;

2008-09-12T13:50:00.001-07:00

What a week man...i wont say had a hell lot of work..but yeah had a lot of brain work to do....this was my first deadline assignment to be completed in a week and i got the real time feel of how it really feels to be in a project that has the tag of deadline...

At the very start of this week I was plunged into the perplexities of a subject that i had absolutely no clue about . Nevertheless i thought i will somehow pull it off. But soon enough ..i was proved wrong as the ugly face of my ignorance about the subject started to take its toll on me.

Monday: My job was to integrate the entire module. Basically three persons contributed to it including me. It seemed fairly easy. After the modifications i made into the code, the software crashed. The entire day i pulled my hair over how its happening as there were no compilation errors . For the first time, the demons of run time errors emerged infront of me . I was rendered helpless .

Tuesday: I was still grappling with it. It was the most inconsistent error i ve ever seen in my entire programming life . Even after retracing back to a point where the error was not occuring, the error refused to go. It was like after the twister came and ravaged the village, if u use a  time machine to travel back in time to the point when the twister didnot occur, yet  u can still see the traces of the damage that the twister was yet to cause. Understood?..forget it..Mind baffling as the problem was , i was at a complete loss.
The pressure was building.

Wednesday: I knew that if something had to happen it had to be today. The simple law of statistics that the peak of efficiency is always at the mid found route to my mind scape..With those thoughts i came energised to the office. By this time a senior was providing me with some guidance over the problem. And soon enough the crashing was resolved. The reason was some unconventional ways of coding adoped by me: my lesson number 1. Now atleast,  i can check what is expected  of the  code is happening  or not. And as even guesses are not required to predict that :---it didnot happen according to plan.
A new error came into picture.

Thursday: But this time i was confident that since i am able to run the code and see what actually is happening i will be able to  debug the reason for the failure. With some guide lines i was able to reach the core of the issue and that laid the ground for more english with semicolons. I finished as quickly as possible. And ran the code to find that the issue in hand was solved effectively. Still my ultimate goal was not achieved. Now this was again strange as , whatever had to be done was done this time .

To add to my troubles , in the midst of all these, i had unknowingly triggered a  crash of one other functionality in the code. How and where i had absolutely no clue and i still dont have.

Tomorrow being the deadline, panic was slowly descending.

And by evening , i broke one more funtionality. I got confused whether i  was supposed to add a new functionality or destroy existing ones. Anyway the second one  was not my fault, an insipid hardware failure which i detected and got it into place right away.

By the time i left office that evening i had gained enough understanding of the subject and was confident that somehow i should be able to resolve everything tomorrow. I did the ground coding required for the battle ahead.

Friday : The day started with a bumpy ride around the entire code structure. I detected some stupid flaws, which i thought was significantly screwing the code and rectified them; but with no gain. The failure was still there . The output expected still looked a distant mate. My coding would succeed , i knew, only if that stupid shit of a flaw, it was running into , got washed away somehow ....i prayed.  As every door looked closed and even my guidelines not able to extract me out this time, i felt undone. In the evening all my seniors involved in the project gathered and discussed the issue in hand and laid forward a few more things that can be tried to achieve the result.

It was late in the evening and before the meeting dispersed , i knew the time has come to use my trump card, my ultimate move, that last move which if fails, then its all over. I told my senior about this idea that i had with me , in case when  everything else fails , and which again was a rather unconventional one.

I was shown the green light to go ahead and somehow get the job done. I started coding afresh this time, going against all tides and rules. The basic idea , in layman's words , was to get the thing done not independently but with the help of a few other modules which i had observed did part of the job which i needed to do. And the result was amazing. At the very first run of the code i got what i had yearned for the entire week and with all lost functionalities restored. The display of the output was so soothing  i spent a few minutes just observing and relishing the moment.

8.30 pm : it was...the office was almost empty. To give vent to my unbound happiness, i called my senior to give him the news. His words of  appreciation turned  it into  a rare moment of accomplishment for me.
Last thing to do was to send  a mail to my project associates .Having done that i happily logged off for the weekend.

I met my deadline...somehow.

the END

2008-08-29T10:43:00.000-07:00

Prologue: Please read ahead at ur own discretion...the ones with a weak heart should leave the blog right now...lest u face the madness unleashed by the drunken mind.!!

---------------the END..............................................................

U see urself lying infront of ur eyes ,

A body surrounded by teary faces;

In silence u stay wide awake ,still,
U see eyes bereft of life watching
Lips blackened with smoke smiling at u;

Fear deepens in your mind,
As logic starts to fail u;
In despair u look at the sky,
To see a sun fighting,
with the gripping darkness;
No birds and no clouds,
No sound and no matter;
Only an infinite space in gloom;

Your blood inside curdles,
Ur veins run dry,
Your heart cries to rip apart,
But its a cry in silence;
Your nose yearns for smell,
Only to find an arid breathe ;
Your tongue starves for taste,
Only to meet acrid tastelesness;

Slowly u realize,u feel
And u only feel
Left with only one sense,
The sense to feel;
Alive to feel the pain,
To savour the pangs of being dead;

Dry tears trickle out of ur eyes
Ur cries are silenced in a smother

As u remain in a dither
Dead with just one sense alive
or Alive with all but one sense dead

U want to escape , u want to run;but u cant-
Slowly u feel the heat engulfing u,

The fire gritting into ur body

Crashing ur bones,

Burning out ur soul;

Unbearable is the pain;

And yet alive is ur brain,

To feel and only feel;

Till its all gone, reduced to dust;

Its pain no more, its an eternal peace;

U realize He is here,

The Guardian of the forsaken

At the stairway of the unknown

To usher in a new beginning

Where nothing is beyond scope,

U live as a devil with hope;

............................................................................................

Epilogue: Bull Shit!!!!

Lady in Red

2008-08-17T06:56:00.000-07:00

It was early morning . The sun was not yet up and the fog was still cast low. The refreshing dew-laden breeze was brushing lightly against my hair as i was waiting for the bus to come.

Soon enough i was in a bus heading to the south end circle where i had to go. Drawn by nature i took the last seat in the bus and allowed my thoughts to wander and my observations to loiter here and there. Then i saw a girl , dressed in a jeans and a sleeveless top, standing in the front of the bus . I could not stop my mind from reading her features. She was a girl with a pretty face , but a discreet flicker of worry was hanging on her brows. Her lips were slightly drawn apart and i could imagine her tongue swirling in the warmth inside. Her hair was just long enough to worry her as the wind relentlessly played with them adding more to her anxiety. I was enjoying her looks and ways and it was turning out to be a good time-pass. As the bus picked up speed and drove through the bumps and rolls , she struggled to stand still holding on to the support straps .

Her soft arms twitched and turned as the merciless bus sped ahead .Her struggle with the support straps added beauty to her faminine aura as her face became more vivid with disquiet emotions. My silent observations remained unnoticed.

I was almost hoping that she come and sit by my side as my side seat was empty . But being the last seat , i knew her trepid self wont allow her to come so far. Luckily, soon after, she found a seat and a sweet smile flashed across her face. And then as if some unknown communication made her realize about me, she looked at me, all on a sudden.

It was absolute silence for a moment ..........; followed by the distant sound of my imagination shattering. She was not the lady in red after all . A lady who is best in the red itself . Just another 'girl not next door'....not even close to what my lower limits of cut-off for a girl to qualify as a ..u know what...

Alas ! It was just another hallucination of a drunken mind....

Which one is YOU?

2008-07-31T06:11:00.000-07:00

So one more weekend..Times flying like hell..whatever...

The aforementioned characters are purely fictional and doesnt bear resemblance to anyone alive or dead...if someone finds it otherwise , its is a matter of pure coincidence.

How does a fresher spend his newly earned income..the feeling of being empowered to spend at will is really overwhelming...here m listing down a few different kinds of spenders..i ve observed lately..

Mr Y gets up early in the morning so that he doesnot miss the breakfast for which he has already paid , even if that means compromising on his sleep..as soon as he gets on the road , his face is gloom cast , as concerns of auto fare plagues his frugal mind, still he hires an auto nevertheless as he calculates that , hiring it with two of his other friends wont be that costly after all..

As soon as he reaches office he gets tortured by thoughts that his colleagues might get better hike nexxxt year...for which he remains insecure in office now itself...

He is not comfortable at learning things from others as he feels that might make him small ...he will pretend to know....and will try to learn on his own..(which is not a bad thing at all, but whats wrong if someone is willing to share his knowledge..)

At lunch even if the food is shit , he would eat his plate clean as his office has a monthly deduction on food....while returning back Mr Y would restrain from all attractions of fast food etc as he has paid for dinner already...and he has to wait starving till then...Calculations and again calculations...

Every time on an auto Mr Y would calculate how much he has to pay by dividing the fare amongst his friends...each cigarette he smokes...and each time he eats outside( which is a rarity ..)..he would maths out the expense to the last penny....if he conceives even a pence of mismatch he would feel betrayed..negative emotions ..flood his mind

Every coin has two sides..he would see only the dark side ..and inflict pain on himself..for such cheap atttitude..which he knows is cheap but by nature cant avoid..and cant express ..

His life has only one motive to save and save and again save...(for what, for whom..??...even he might not know..)
..........................................................................................................................................................................
Mr X is another character who does his share of calculations for the month...and tries to live by it..he would avoid an auto whenever he can , but wont mind hiring it...

His life is not bound by the chains of cheap calculations and by the rules of money...he would eat, drink whatever he feels like....and wont eat if it sucks...even if money is deducted monthly for it...

While he loves to pay for his and his friends cigarettes, ..he ofcourse will mind if the other guy aint ever buying him one in return....

At work he concentrates on his work but remains aware of the competition which is at large at every corner...he will make sure to speak out if he finds himself being exploited...and knows the rules to get things done , adopting whatever is the best strategy..

His plans are in place for the future and he works towards acheiving those...Mr X is open to sharing knowledge and learning stuff from others...he knows his limitations...and knows what he can and what he cant...

..........................................................................................................................................................................
Mr Z has a different view of life altogether...he lives for the present...calculations...wait!!..what calculations...?...theres nothing called that in his dictionary...he lives an utopian life where he is the king..bound by no concerns and worries..but not without responsibilities...which he knows and adheres to well...

He always prefers auto..no bus for him in his entire life...if he is with his friends , then they wont have to worry as all financial dealings will be borne by him..be it fares or food or cigarettes...thats not a concern for him..(ofcourse...only if that is within his limits..)...he has a heart of gold...and wont mind otherwise.

He will accomplish all his desires ..and wont wait for the right time to come..if required he will plunge himself into the quick sand of credit card to meet his dreams..even if the expenses are far beyond his income...

He always relies on others to learn ..lazy...but has the potential to outshine anyone..

His friends rely on him blindly..as they know he will never betray their trust..and he never does...

Ofcourse leading this kind of a life , he would see his share of problems which he tackles with shrewdness...whatever be the situation he will find a way out.....lucky ...the hand of unknown grace always lie on his head...he pets impulse..and he drives enthusiasm..positive feelings abound in him..

.........................................................................................................................................................................

The competition is now between these three characters...who will win ultimately ?....who do u think will win..?...

And who do u think u are..? X ? Y? or Z?

Life ..Now

2008-07-18T22:46:00.000-07:00

Corporate life....sounds so sophisticated. I have taken my first steps into it and till now it has been a timeless ride. The week just gets over in a flash with me gasping for some free time.

This monday i m getting my cubicle...so officially my training ends and m on the job. I dont know what it will feel like to seat on the small space which i will get in my office. Its unknown what the pressure will be, what the expectations will be and how far i will be able to contribute to the success of the company. Unlike in college where , it was an utopian world , carefree and rudderless, its an altogether different scenario here where competition is in the breath and pressure flows in the nerves. The rudderless boats sink here . Its unaffordable to loose focus.

The abundance of time we had in college life to finish assignments, the ease with which we extended deadlines , the nightouts we had simply playing cards or counterstrike will slowly get buried under the dust of the past. Here missing a deadline accounts for opportunity loss . It may cost crores .

In college, our experiments lead to the death of quite a many diodes, transistors and we escaped unnoticed. Here each component wasted is a direct increase in the COGC ( Cost of Good Sold) and an indirect decrease in your hike .Constant vigilance and accountability .

I got the highest grades for my mini and major projects in college. An achievement I m proud of. In the final year the amount of effort I invested, was slightly more than negligible , except in the week before submission.:-a common trend as in the case of assignment submissions. That was college life. The bottomline was , somehow finish the job in the best possible way with minimum time invested. And the results it reaped were always more than satisfying. Dunno if the bottom line still holds true in the corporate life.

Friends were an integral part of college life: an element without which college life is as good as a purgatory. Its unthinkable. Infact the concept of college life fails to stand without the support of friends. Now, we have to restart the search for good friends amongst our colleagues. A difficult task with very less probability of success. But ofcourse not improbable. The craze of competition may turn us blind to many such possibilities.

Pranks that we played in college life, will now take a different meaning . I hear here people laughing and having jokes on technical themes. Even I have started PJing on such items. The metamorphosis in the sense and subject of humour itself is funny, ironical.

Here , forgiveness is unforgiving and deadlines are unmissable .This is my purview on corporate life till now. The coming Monday will validate the quality of my concerns.

REBOOT

2008-07-11T07:18:00.000-07:00

This is slightly in praise of the LINUX operating system that i am working on these days. I still have to master the wonders that it offers, but i can say from the first few days itself, that its simply amazing.

Let me tell u about one prank that was played during our LINUX training session. We all got individual comps to try out whatever we were learning parallely to the session. For convenience the instructors had kept the 'root' password same for all.

Being new to this stuff, i was trying to concentrate when my system got restarted. I thought , i ve somehow clicked something that led to the reboot . But after a few minutes when it got rebooted again ,annoyance was brewing up in me. The third time it happened i concluded my system was screwed and left bothering about it.

Later i realized what really was screwing up my system. The root password being same for all , it literally allowed anyone to enter into anyone's system and do whatever one wanted. So thats what was happening , a few of the trainees who knew about this and a few basic commands, started hacking into the systems and rebooting them.

So next day , i just changed the 'root' password and was saved from all the trespassers. But there was one 'seedha' dude who was 'seedha' enough to still allow , anyone into his system. As the class went on , his computer kept on rebooting adding to his frustrations. He was reduced to an observer of his system . The moments he logs on , the system gears up for another reboot. The miscreants were having their best time feeding on this dude's innocence and insipidity. Feeling pity at his plight, someone messaged him to change his password. He gratefully obliged .

Now it was my turn to have some fun, i logged on to his system.

Password: ****
Permission denied.
I realized he had changed the password.
Password: *******
Permission granted. Hehe....he had kept his name as his password..lolz.
[root ~]: Reboot

His computer screen turning black once again. He turned his head back at threatening speed to detect who it was...his spectacles almost flying out of his nosepad...i was observing , unable to suppress my laughter. His perplexed countenance reflected defeat and disbelief . I saw he stopped trying to log into his system as his system restarted once again testing with his bridles of patience.

The session was now coming to an end..i was quite happy at what i learnt. WHEN i saw my system getting rebooted. awestruck...speechless.How...d hell did dis happen.?

Password cracked...?..not possible..

This unveiled one more wonderful feature of LINUX, the power to undermine even the master password. I m still not sure how this feat is carried out..but all the same , it just added xtra premium fuel in my zeal to enslaven it!

Happy Birthday..

2008-07-05T11:06:00.000-07:00

Birthdays ....yeah it holds a sentimental spot in everyones heart. Though i ve always remained a forgetful brat in this, yet every year i do expect to be wished at my birthday atleast by my parents if not by anyone else. And if i look back over the years, they have religiously done that .

But on my part i ve failed almost consistently and history repeated once again today. The feeling that creeps in ,once you realize that you have once again forgotten to wish the most important person in your life, is really indescribable .

Missing out the moment once again , the failure to assert them that you really care , the fear that they will loose their trust in our love encroaches deep into my heart.

Even though we dont really know how exactly our parents feel about it. One thing i can say for sure is that even though they wont mind apparently but deep inside their hearts the feeling of being forgotten seeks its toll the most during birthdays. Thinking about which i feel that i am one of the worst products of almighty. What remains behind is a feeling of smothering remorse.

Life is a journey to be travelled and completion of each year is like conquering one more milestone and that brings forth a craving to achieve more such ocassions of celebrations with near and dear ones. But once you realize that your moments of achievements are lonely , the spirit shrivels and the desire to travel further , now alone, slowly perishes. I think this is why wishing on birthdays is so very important and their is no excuse for the alternative whatsoever.

I hope this blog of mine atleast helps me, if not anyone else, to realize this and help me in the future to remember my loved ones in the moments of importance. The price of failure is unaffordable as it threatens to make insignificant all previous moments of bonhomie, laying breeding grounds for emotions of inexact fear and melancholy.

Birthdays come and leave every year, touching us all for a few priceless moments and being unable to appreciate its worth is one of the greatest losses our mortal existence can suffer.

The Foolish Samaritan!

2008-06-18T09:57:00.000-07:00

A train journey always brings with it new stories, new faces to meet and adds new chapters to one's life. My latest journey in train had a story hidden in it that was a reflection of an event that had already occur ed in my previous journey.

These days in trains we get the chance to witness a new type of cheaters. These guys , dressed in some railway uniform and with IDs too, will come to take your order for dinner or lunch. And once you order thinking that they are from the pantry service, they bring in the food within minutes, take the pay and evaporate. This happened to me in my last trip,where a man came and delivered the food claiming that it was from the pantry's . Afterwards we had to pay again and also eat again when the actual ordered food came. And this happened in spite of our neighbour's( two girls) warning that this man may not be from the pantry.

But we simply ignored them and even coaxed them into the same shit as us.

Once realization dawned, it was too late and we were left only fuming with frustration at being fooled so easily and that too infront of those two girls infront of whom we were trying to act smart.

The episode was over, i thought making us wise, until yesterday when it raised its ugly head

once again. This time too a young man, dressed in some railway uniform with even a badge of irctc attached to his chest, came to take order for dinner at around 3.30 pm at the NJP junction. I enquired the prices, and though i found them a bit too high , i still ordered. But when he came with the dinner , just after a few minutes, suspicion crept into my heart. After all 3.45pm was not the time for dinner!.. He was in a hurry when he came to collect the pay,

me: kyun bhai itne jaldi dinner?
boy: sirji, jaldi paisa dijiye...60
me: itna jaldi kyun hain..de rahain hain dheere dheere...

he got restless and his facade faded.

boy: sirji, jaldi..utrna bhi hain..train chal padi hain.
me: Tum pantry ke nahin hon..

boy: hun sirji, hun..jaldi dijiye..

Sweat was brewing on his face and he was repeatedly looking outside in desperation to check how much speed the train has picked up. Though there was no more doubt in my mind about his reality, i just paid him and allowed him to escape..Why?.i still dont know.

After he left , my heart again got gripped in the claws of frustration at my modesty in letting him go. I could have easily denied him the money and ordered him to leave with his fucked up food. But i chose otherwise and avoided unnecessary trouble.

Was that the right thing to do....I dont think so.

So from next time, before ordering food, be sure to check if his uniform matches the pantry uniform..and one more observation was that normally the person who take orders remain the same through out the journey and he collects the payment at the end. Any deviation and ur guy is right there. How u deal with him is left to you..

Atleast i m gonna make this sure, cause i cannot afford to be the good or lets say the foolish samaritan anymore.!

De-Reservations!

2008-06-14T09:05:00.000-07:00

The phenomenon called reservation is today looming large over the academic sector..Any plans in that zone leads one to confront the evils of reservation..be it in engineering, management etc.

With 49.5% reservation now, competition among the aspirants has witnessed quantum leaps. But with the UPA government's plans to equally increase the seats in the institutions the students can heave a sigh of relief. How far reservations will play a role in the upliftment of the backward classes still remain a question..but with the benfits on the taking, the trend is such that even the advanced classes may desire to take a few steps behind .

When the students were still reconciling with the fact of 49.5% reservation, the timing was just right to throw forward the new policy of eliminating state reservations in AIEEE exam. Initially 50% seats of the state NITs were reserved for domicile students, while the remainig seats were filled up by non-domicile students. An equivalent number of the remaining seats of the state NIT was reserved in NITs of different states.

Under the new policy , the 50% reservation in the state NIT is still there for domicile students , but for admission into a NIT of a different state , one has to compete with the All India Rank..in other words the reservations in the other NITs have been eliminated.

This policy will definitely uplift the standards of some of the top NITs like NIT suratkal, NIT calicut, NIT warangal, NIT trichy etc...as the toppers of all India will throng to these NITs...for students from some states this wont be an impediment, as the coaching facilities are top class in those states such as UP, MP, Kerala etc...

But on the darker side, the students from the north eastern states , bereft of any coaching facilities, will get deprived from achieving high quality education...The State NIT silchar still has to go a long way to attract the best brains of the State..The toppers here , normally have AIRs in thousands and that wont fetch them top NITs . A good state rank was enough before, to acquire a seat in one of the good NITs..and these students once reaching there normally perform if not better atleast at par with the students from other states and in many cases even better.

With only one NIT in the north east the situation is really pathetic as these students neither have any coaching facilities to compete nor they have reservations anywhere. The step motherly treatment by the centre towards the north east has surfaced once again. With as many as 230 seats deprived, the blooming techies of the North eastern states will face a serious setback. And all this without prior information, the students came to know about this only when their results came out. In other words their fate was sealed , before even giving them a chance.

This policy has to be opposed as otherwise the feelings of disgust and hopelessness will find stronger face in the hearts of thousands deprived. This reflects in the delay in the counselling process. No one knows what awaits the future of those , whose future was assured just a few days back , now lies in the gloom of despair.

Hillary Clinton's Speech

2008-06-07T12:00:00.000-07:00

After an almost non-educative, and unexciting day , as i was whiling away a few more hours on the television tonight, i chanced to catch upon the speech of Hillary Clinton..yes...and What a poignant speech it was...a speech in which she accepted her defeat with grace and endorsed Barack Obama.

The thing that struck me most was her meticulous use of words that beautifully undermined the harsh truth of her defeat and eulogised her accomplishments and milestones , what she has achieved and what she will continue to work for. She pleaded to all her supporters to bury the hatchet that they have for Obama, and help in the journey ahead to elect the Democratic nominee Obama as the US president.

"The way to continue our fight now, to accomplish the goals for which we stand, is to take our energy, our passions, our strengths and do all we can to help elect Barack Obama the next president of the United States. Today, as I suspend my campaign, I congratulate him on the victory he has won and the extraordinary race he has run. I endorse him and throw my full support behind him"

"This is not exactly the party I planned but I sure do love the company,"she starts off with a broad smile acknowledging her supporters who have stood by her in all thick and thin and also indicating her personal pain in the losing the race.

"Please don't go there. Every moment wasted looking back keeps us from looking forward. Life is too short, time is too precious and the stakes are too high to dwell on what might have been'' Clinton told a crowd of more than 1,000 supporters gathered at the National Building Museum in Washington. And the message is clear,a hidden painful admission of her defeat and the determination to move ahead without regrets.

"We have to work together for what still can be. And that is why I will work my heart out to make sure that Senator Obama is our next president. The dreams we share are worth fighting for"

"So today I am standing with you to say: 'Yes, we can!'" she said. "We cannot let this moment slip away. We have come too far and we have accomplished too much."she emphasized borrowing one of Obama's own campaign slogans.

She kept on repeating, "We have to help elect Barack Obama as president" trying to guide her supporters with reason to support Obama and patiently moving towards unifying a party that is divided by the long grueling campaign. In sporting his slogan she showed that she is now on the same side as him.

She has set foot on untrodded grounds in American politics by being the first lady to come within a whisker of becoming the Democratic Presidential nominee. She has answered back to all who put questions on the capability of a lady being the 'Commander in Chief'. In eloquence she remarked that from now on it wont be remarkable if a lady runs for a Presidential nominee, if a lady dreams to be the American President..and that was remarkable,she said.

"If we can blast 15 women into space, we will some day blast a woman into the White House. When the day arrives and it is a woman taking the oath of office as our president, we will all stand taller"...she reflected . She spoke about the American Dream of ensuring a life of dignity and security for one and all, to ensure the insurance of all and pledged her relentless efforts towards achieving those regardless of which position she will be in. And only when that great American dream will come true will the existence of democracy find a meaning.

She urged upon the youths to follow their hearts and say no to anyone who tried to pull them back, who tried to judge them . Only then the full potential of the country can flourish.

Her speech was reportedly one of the most powerful concession speech in US history.

“Although we weren’t able to shatter that highest, hardest glass ceiling this time, thanks to you, it has about 18 million cracks in it and the light is shining through like never before.” This moving statement refers to her 18million supporters and embellishes the milestone she has crossed in a manner truely sublime.

Thanking her family, her supporters and her extraordinary staff she concluded her speech leaving all mesmerized with her fluent and poignant expression of thought and beliefs, her prudence and accomplishments.

Thats the power of speech, the true strenght of a leader and being an Indian I can boast of great Indian leaders like Jawaharlal Nehru, Indira Gandhi , Atal Bihari Vajpayee etc.

But are there any in the present times?

Personal Diary.?

2008-06-05T01:28:00.000-07:00

This was one of the funniest and most disastrous moments in my life..i was foolish enough to maintain a personal diary ..the habit clung to me since childhood and travelled with me to my engineering college, where it met its judgement day.

I was a casual writer and used to pen down whatever i felt like pouring out of my mind, sometimes it used to take the form of poems, sometimes hatred documentaries , many a times self appreciation etc. The diary had a happy life living by my side and lending me words of advice and malice,whenever whatever was needed

I shared a strange relation of keys with one of my friends. The key to his lock opened my lock also and my key opened his too. It was a bi-way traffic, a feature that was quite beneficial until that night of holi, when i was not in college and my room was locked. These junglees( my frendz) started playin holi from the night itself, and summoned in a sort of flood in the F-top, with the water infiltrating into all the rooms. Hentai had a decent thought of using his key to unlock my room and turn on the fan so that the water dries up.

And then, his evil eyes caught my diary lying naked ,exposed to full vulnerabilty, without its protector nearby ; Hentai succumbed to his deepest desires . But he shared his sin by calling in another foker ,Bokamaru. Both penetrated deep into the sacred temple of the diary and plundered its sanctity.

I came to know about it ...but till then it was too late. Anyways the one they caught hold of was just a sister diary..the mother was hidden in safety...so not much damage was done .But these guys didnt stop at that..

One fine day, when i was looking for my diary, i didnt find her..i directly accused Hentai of kidnap as he was the only one who knew where i had kept her. He denied blatantly swearing on God , friendship n all sorts of bull shits... i next directed my vengeance on Bokamaru..but he was absconding...Then comes in another character Naii, he was one of my biggest suspects as he had a penchant for getting into these sorts of troubled waters...Naii got scared that Bokamaru might get screwed up by me, so he confesed that he had stolen her..But there was a small problem..someone had stolen her from him..and he had no idea who the thief was.

We spend the entire night discussing who it could be, and there was one guy who claimed that he was understanding every bit of the game, but ultimately it turned out he had absolutely no idea.
I had my suspicion on Hentai as he fitted best with all probabilities.

Anyways i was confident that i will soon get her back as she was actually useless for anyone but me. And i got her back ......In my farewell...NEXI farewell...and what a farewell it was..my juniors read out many funny lines out of her...listening to which everyone rolled in laughter..including me....ofcourse i cant disclose them here..( basically had my trapped emotions recorded on placement frustrations, strategies of life....n all .which if anyone else except me reads ..will find it damn funny..as i had made appropriate use of the F word ) but Bokamaru is planning to put it up in a blog....to immortalize the entire episode....dont worry i will put up the link as soon as its hosted.

And regarding how my juniors got hold of it..it seems Hentai was behind it after all....that asshole..anyways looking back at it now,it was an episode which made my farewell a memorable occasion n all thanks to Hentai for that....

Comedy of Dialect : II

2008-06-03T10:07:00.000-07:00

And in my last day...came to know about a few more interesting incidents...

Once a patient was trying to indicate the doctor that..he has stomach ache..but as usual the doctor was not able to understand exactly...
Dr: Pleagse thell in englishh
Patient: Sir, dats what i m telling since then.i m ving stomach indigestion..
Dr: Pleagse Englishh sar..Englishh..

Poor fellow had to call upon his rescuer...the dude.

One fine day, the doctor and his crew planned to visit some places of interst around..

Dr: Tage us to the soo...
Dude: Shoe..?..K sir, there is a very fine Bata store nearby..

Infront of the Bata Store..

Dr: Whad plage ig dis?..
Dude: Sir the finest Bata store around.
Dr: Illa, we wand to go to the soo...
Dude: This is that place..!
Dr: Soo, aanimalgs..bhirds..
Dude: hmmm...Zoo! , u mean zoo!
Dr: yeah Soo..!

So that draws the curtains upon my last visit there...

Comedy of Dialect: I

2008-06-02T22:14:00.000-07:00

My evenings these days are spent in an Ayurvedic malyali institute where my father is undergoing treatment. Though a very reputed institute ,one thing which strikes is the staff's inability to communicate in languages other than in their mother tongue . The use of sign language , tid bits of Hindi and a seemingly unintelligible version of English feeds well in giving rise to many a comic situations there.

'Is yoaur son in vagazion?'..reply was ' He is an engineer'..
'Has he gompletid his studdiz?'...reply....'he is my younger son'..
After the treatment the instructions were...'No matha bheegana..oil direct lagaana ', 'No khana morning emgty pet aana'..'Gadi pargiink illa here..'

When i asked a lady where was the toilet..she kept blushing and smiling as if i was proposing her...when i repeated my query..she strangely stood up from her chair ..i could not decipher what she was trying to indicate...i consoled myself to forget abt the toilet.

Their inexhaustible desire to watch kairali TV( of all channels!)..n even a moments distraction from that channel ( i tried once by switching to another channel out of pure frustration)...is not tolerated. I never tried again. I salute to their single-channeled dedication to Kairali, when 200 other channels are being aired.

I met another interesting dude, a localite, who himself does not understand malyalam but somehow has nestled himself into the role of a communicator between the patients and doctor.
When patients come with problems of back ache ,stomach indigestion etc , sign language is an effective tool to indicate their troubled parts.

But their is usually a class of patients for whom using sign language acts in violation of the code of decency. These people who ,according to the statistics form a large group of their patients ,call in the help of the dude, i was talking about ,to communicate their problems. They seek resumption of potency , revitalization of youthfulness in their mid fifties( sometimes sixties), prolonged durations of exquisite ,ahem , lets say , warmth and many more...As u can imagine using the language of sign here would not be appropriate...unfortunately the one doctor who is a local, is a lady . So our dude here comes to the rescue of these starved souls and does the act for them in a coded language of signs.

I heard strange cases of apparently not-yet-soon-2-B moms suffering the same problems (above mentioned)..and how this guy has jumped to their help in making them understand the doctor's advice that the time is not ripe for such activities..

Today is my last day there..and i cant wait to go and savour the last one hour of underlying hidden elements of comedy scattered in plenty there.

BTW my father is there for a back ache problem..n i drive him to that place.(lest u all make us the dude's patients!)

Driving ..what a pain

2008-05-31T12:35:00.000-07:00

Have mastered my driving skills now n have become the official driver of family. But a strange feeling has now crept into my mind, after so many years of investing to master this skill....

Whenever i drive i m stolen of the comfort that i used to enjoy like watching the countryside speed by , the flying birds in the sky..when my father used to drive..,.rather i ve to worry about all the fools who try to overtake from the wrong side and that too at inappropriate speed causing me to slow down lest we collide, all those completely lost in their own world over the mobile n crossing the road completely oblivious of my car approaching them at breaking speed n when i screeched to break for their safety. Seriously the road is such a venue where situations change every moment, that only a constant vigilant real time processing can save one from the hazards that it possess. This has led me to avoid the car whenever possible n can handle without the car...n with the petrol prices sky-rocket ting, its also economical.

An evening ride on a rickshaw , with a slight breeze whiling through ur hair under the bright moon in the cloudless starry sky and with the liberty to brood over the changing facades of the road rather than worrying about them ,is by far a better option than car driving in a crowded city like the one i stay in.

What a coconut !

2008-05-31T06:20:00.000-07:00

Though when i think of all my teachers since childhood to bachelorhood...i find many for whom nothing but respect finds place in my heart...there was one guy named as PD..(name changed to protect privacy)..whom we all loved to hate..

VIII std it was...we saw a short man with a mammoth belly entering into the class, wearing a grim face , but somehow managing to display his teeth blackened under incessant tobacco consumption. he was there to teach us maths.

He took a chalk and started to draw a potato kind of structure in the board...'what is this?'..students answered ..'potato'..'no, its a tomato'....

PD: NO!...its a coconut..I AM A COCONUT....hard from outside and soft mushy from inside..

( we could not stop giggling at such a strange introduction of oneself..who comes into the class n announces that he is a fuckin coconut..???.But thats how PD was. )

he went to the girl sitting in the first bench and made her touch his forearm...

coconut: As hard as steel right .?...i am a coconut...(he reclaimed...now providing physical proofs of his coconutness!).
but however intimidating he tried to impose , he was ultimately a laughing stock behind his back... n what shit mathematics he taught...Still he behaved as the super king of our school..

Strange person he was ,but i always thought he had the students best intentions in his mind whenever he committed his atrocities like slapping and other such physical punitive...

One such case of his apparent misuse of authority was when he slapped a boy around five times for interrupting to enter the class while he was teaching..that poor fellow was sent from the nearby classroom to get some chalks from this demon .

This physical punishments of the coconut reached its height when a small girl of our school was once slapped for failing to do some problem..not slapped exactly rumours are that the child was lifted from the ground on her ear....she died after remaining fainted for about an hour.

This was no doubt an accident.. palpable to murder..that led to the disappearance of the coconut till date.(must ve fled to kerala where coconuts are always on high demand..!)

On a serious note, there was no need for me to share this grotesque episode of my life with u all..but there was a reason to raise this issue of physical torments on students by teachers ..a trend thats on the rise all over India...its time to put a stop on this lest any other coconut crushes another soul.

The Challenge

2008-05-29T13:26:00.000-07:00

The fresher students in the starting of their college life normally remains pumped up with the momentum that they gained in their studies during the entrance examz..n so many continues that even in the college..(though dat spark does not remain for long)...n i was no exception...

Physics was a subject that threw the gauntlet to me...n one of my friends named Tunda... We both devoted our heart n souls to understand the intrinsic underlying concepts ..by referring to many books n trying to build a solid foundation..phew!..(Einsteins..!)

One day as i was studying for my first sessional exam, Tunda entered my room...
Tunda : kya kar rahaan hain bey..
Me: notes bana rahaan hoon physics ke liye.

Tunda: Dikha ...

he replied with a wry smirk

Tunda : Padh padh, mujhe marks lane keliye notes ki jaroorat nahin.
Me: Dekhte hain, kitna fodhta hain tu examz...
Tunda: Challenge..??
Me: Thik hain...challenge accepted..

the challenge was for me to get more than him.

the exam got over..n the results were out..Tunda got the paper before me.

In the evening i went to his room, and saw their Tunda making notes chup chupke..

Me:Kya baat hain dude, tu notes bana rahaan hain...( i could not control from laughing at his face..as i understood the symptoms well)..waisa kintna aaya physics mein..

Tunda: loot gaya yaar, 8.5....just pass.
Me: hahaha..8.5 ...kya hua challenge bhool gaye..?..

i left the room ,pleasantly confident that i was home comfortably..i have won..8.5..i will easily surpass...
next day i got my results...8.5...just pass....we both rolled out in laughter...the challenge ended in a draw...thinking now i feel dat was a very positive outcome .

Since dat day we both abandoned all such bullshits like notes making as we gained the ultimate wisdom of engineering: mugging on D day .

Colgate

2008-05-28T11:46:00.000-07:00

During one of the ragging sessions , i gave a task to one of my juniors..though i never imagined he would give such a funny turn to things..while doing it..

I gave him Rs 20 and asked him to buy me a toothpaste....

After sometime:

Junior: Sir, yeah lijiye...
i saw he bought two of those..

Me: yeah kya hain..do kyun le aaya..
Junior: Sir 20 rupya wala nahin tha..isliye 10 wala do laya...

Think this tale can appear in Tinkle digest under Suppandi's great activities.

Placement interview

2008-05-28T11:28:00.000-07:00

This is how the interview of a very big oil company went ..n how my dear friend cracked it using simple common (non ) sense...

Q: so dear, what do u know abt indian politics
A: sir we ve Democracy..(now dats an answer..!)

Q: k, whoz the chief minister of assam..?.(his home state..)
A: hmmm....hmmm...some gogoi i m sure...

Q: Name some random ministers..?
A: Laloo,Prasad,Yadav etc.

Q: Whoz the president of india ?
A: dats easy, Parthiv Patel

Interviewer was surprised...with raised eye brows he put forth this one
Q: Are u sure..?
A: Quite sir..

Q: But isn't he a cricketer?( with despair in his voice)
A: So what..!!

He was selected there and then..

The woman power

2008-05-27T01:42:00.000-07:00

this is the story of a husband-wife... a drunken husband beating up his wife every night.n the screams of the lady waking up the entire neighbourhood....my father , a young dude back then one day thought of going into their house n beating the hell out of the husband for creating such a mess...........n this is what he beholds inside..

the wife on top of the husband beating the shit out of her hubby with a broomstick n screaming also at the same time....pleading for ' help' ....what a strategy to screw up that poor fellow..

n my hero, dad....

Orkutified..are u?

2008-05-25T11:51:00.000-07:00

Think i got introduced to this thing called Orkut in the second semester of my college life..and since then we two ve travelled together a long distance...

My first date with orkut:Deleted pages from my life were restored.( met old buddies)

Best Use of Orkut in Engg collg: Check out profiles of gals...n if possible pics too...I remember seeing quite a few folders of pics of girls( all dug out from orkut) shared in our LAN..(fustration ka had hain)..n when the privacy increased.this is what a bihari friend of mine complained

"Area yeah orkutwa ne humaar laundiyon ke albumwa ke saath scrap book pe bhi taala lagwa diya. Bhaak Saaala"...( dont know what pleasure he derived from reading their scrap books..!)

But for quite some time , the locked albums were hacked, but it has been rectified now.Alas!

Freedom of expression: The communities of orkut are quite a platform to express our views n also quite informative..i myself ve joined quite a few like the C,C++ communities during placements( served me well), High school communities, Now the Company (where u are placed) communities...All are grt sources of info n expression....N even u can join hate communities..like the cap-man (wooooooo..)community....

But better be aware of what u write in those as u can be charged with defamation as was the case of one techie from gurgaon,rahul krishna kumar vaid, who wrote something despicable( vulgar it seems) about Sonia Gandhi in a hate community on her..he was arrested under cyber crime n put to jail..this was quite a shock as google violated the customer rights by disclosing the IP address of that poor guy......this is in quite contrast to their policies in America..for a full report on this u can check out here

So better put shackles of caution on ur freedom of speech in orkut..it can cause doom out of the oblivion.

Best thing of Orkut: i feel is the ability to write testimonials for ur friends. its quite a way to express in words n put it up in the net what we feel abt them..but for that we would never ve been able to testify them or to be testified by them...this feature was quite hot during our last days in college..we could see testimonials flying everywhere...

Updates: a preety good feature added is the ability to see what ur friends ve updated about themselves in their profiles in the home page.. ..u can see when someone gets 'single' from being 'committed'( saw a few cases after our class trip..apparently that poor fellow was denied access..hehe..)when someone gets into 'heavy smokin' from 'no smoking' to' tryin to quit'..

My acheivements in Orkut: hmmm...i had the concept of having a cyber girlfriend..(as the one i had previously in the real world ,was quite a mess) who would be online when she wanted n (if m lucky even i would be online ) but would not bother me every now n then...(like the previous one)..had one such thing goin for quite long ...even changed my profile name to ''Man -She' is back'..hoping that the dumbass will undersatnd that i m hittin on her...by actually keeping her name as my name in an encrypted way..but alas she could not decrypt it...never tried such a stunt again.
Latest news on that lass , i heard was that, she was claiming that i proposed her..!!..WTF!

though sometimes u do get to meet some really good persons..m lucky to get in contact with a few such strangers who ve become good friends now.

But the greatest achievement which we had( i was not that involved in this)...was creating a legendary character in orkut called 'Sonam karamchandani'...who drived many guys crazy with her 'tashan' n 'ada'....The masterminds were a bangladeshi named Dutta n a Chutia, she ultimately had to leave us,..when she met her soul mate.. 'kinnar' from ece...he was on the verge of goin to blore to meet her...lolzz!

Complains: my only complain is everytime i put up the link of this blog in the 'website field' of my profile, the [content suppressed] comes up at my next visit. Why..Ninde. Ninde...?
[if someone has the answer please put ur suggestions in comments.]

Complete wastage of time: now the ultimate truth ,though everyone knows that, its ultimately a big wastage of time that we all simply love to do..with loggin into it atleast 10 times in a day to find if someone has summoned u in their thoughts...(feels quite good on finding that)..

With so many new applications on the launch it has become definitely more complicated n more luring to devote our useless time..into it..like u can slap someone at the speed of light , or sound...or u can splash tomatoes n, ll that bull shit which seems fun to many...

So if u are a new bee to the concept of Orkut..better stay so..or if u r an advanced user like the rest of us..u ve been orkutified..n escape is beyond equivocation.

Not quite a fresher.

2008-05-23T11:26:00.000-07:00

This one reminds me of one of my juniors i met when i was in the final year of college.

Name: Masked
Sem: S1
Venue : Ragam, cultural festival of NIT Calicut

That guy was a peculiar recruit from the north east into our gang...normally the guys of the gang i was in called , NEXI , had guys who are best known for being 'bhassadiya ha***mis'..

Being in first year , we gave the juniors ample opportunities to showcase their skills .This helped us in identifying the future 'Gurus' of the gang..many gave decent shows . But the 'masked' guy was a made of a different soil altogether.
He followed some ,shit called 'principles' that forbade him to do the things which most juniors are duty-bound to do like :enhancing their speaking abilities( helps them to tackle the unforseen forces of college life), enacting some day to day activities of particularly boys and also girls sometimes (helps them grow faster) and above all learning to 'go-after' the 'most sought out' beings in the college.( helps in their personality development)
As u can see all the activities are aimed at their well being in the end.

But the 'mask' refused to abide by...hence he faced the cosequences. Being mentored by me then, i had to do whatever the constitution had enlisted for such cases.
Nothing much though , i just had to use force to make him learn to speak and made him do some physical exercises. He refused with all his might, weeping and clinging to a tree,( dats what he could best do)..to avoid entering the doom house for juniors called 'F-hostel'.

Seeing him geting wet in his pants even b4 anything really started, i thought it would be better if i shift to mode 2 (a much less feared mode)..which involved taking himto the mini canteen n giving him a treat at a cost. i gave him a treat, at the cost that he had to break a wall with his head..the poor being gave an attempt too bolstered by the treat but ended up crying more.

I asked him to please leave n never do the mistake of showing his face again to me, ofcourse i didnt mean it.

Consequences:

He didnt turn up for the farewell party for us..He boycotted almost all the NEXI activities.
After the freshers i personally went n told him that he was just under the personality development programme n should not take things to heart. I think he forgave me.

After efffffects:

That chapter was closed for me till that day (in my home town) when i visited my alma-mater, my high school, to meet my loved teachers , to acknowledge their efforts in whatever i ve achieved till now.
And then i one of the most respected teachers, (lets call her fida madam), came to me ( BTW i ve a very good impressionon on my high school teachers) and told me that one of her distant relatives had taken admission in NITC last year and she had specially given my reference and had asked her relative to meet me up regarding studies n whatever help he needed.

That relative of hers was none other then my beloved junior 'Masked'...I just shiver thinking what the' mask 'will now unmask about me infront of them .

Moral of the story: The world is not big enough , u get hooked up sooner or later.

The Last

2008-05-13T02:05:00.000-07:00

After i started this blog-writing thing...My mind got ripped apart with non-stop ideas about my next post...I thought about many dimensions to make the next post an interesting read...initially i had the mind-blowing idea of narrating the blooming love stories of my branch..ofcourse with added masala ...but again that might not go into the good books of many...so that idea is abandoned as of now...

What i m gonna tell u all now is about our Class treat : EEE class actually waz famous for its outings together, this waz the third in the line of those n my second...

Venue: Kappad Beach, a beautiful place to hang out .

Time : Some time before the sun set

Date : Who cares..

After around two hours ride we reached the beach...a wonderful evening sea-breeze greeted us as soon as we landed..the panoroma of the place was soothing and gave us a promise of wonderful moments waiting ahead...the high waves were as enthusiastic as ever...

The circumstances were perfect for us to ve a cup each of our favourite 'soft beverage' and then leave the happenings of the evening in the hands of the 'high' Almighty....'But', as some wise man has said there is always a 'But' behind everything...'Dry day' yeah it waz a dry day....

huh!..That reminds me the date , 1st April,2008.

The initial set back didnt deter our spirits..as the sea waz mesmerizing enough. The class got scattered around as soon as we landed...The girls mostly jumped into the lap of the sea and started playing 'Ringa-Ringa roses' ...(expected isinit..?)...n soon some (..some..??..)...boys too joined them...

'Doob jayenge lekin ringa ringa roses khelenge!'

I was in a different group...the one which was enjoying in a slightly 'hatke' style....
This was the group i waz talkin about... Starting from me, waz yadav, kabaddi, ladda, athiya, cool dude, boka, sharma and the one who has apparated from this pic into the other is the 'Mahaan Guru Ghantaal'...a yogi who had a mysterious ambitions of going to the other side of the beach..'but' unfortunately he found no one to go with him...we still dont know why he so desperately wanted to go there....a mystery that remained so...perhaps he smelt 'doggy n his doggin' over there...(sry guruji thodi maar li aapki..)....that day as usual athiya was roaming in his 'high' world with ladda...n the phantom of the group 'cool dude' waz in his best form..oozing chillness all over...while Kabadi was getting shitted over by the sea .

Looking back into those days now ..i realize how much really we are gonna miss all that...the fun of pulling one another's leg( g***d m**ring basically )..the moments we shared together totally unaware that those moments will be the only thing that will be left with us after a few days...as is today...when m sitting alone on my comp writing about those ..

As the sun slowly took its stroll towards the horizon , the sea turned into another beautiful shade ....and then emerged the sensational pics of the evening ...(below..)

The undying love of daab resurfaces once again...

Tharki sharma could not stop himself as is shown in the pic..

While the guru is shown giving valuable lessons to his 'shagird' kabaddi....

The sun was setting and one of the best days of my life was approaching its end..

Our last footsteps on Kappad beach is shown here...One more 'last' got added to the endless stack of 'last' s that was happening in those days...

As i end this post only one song seems to be playing in my mind...(actually m listening to it presently...n it fits into the situation perfectly..) called 'Stop the Train'...(John Meyer)

No I'm not color blind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind but...
I just can't sleep on this tonight
Stop this train I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly won't someone stop this train
.
.
.

Singing stop this train I want to get off and go home again
I can't take this speed it's moving in
I know I can't
Cause now I see I'll never stop this train

How True.

Jack Nine Ace Ten

2008-05-11T09:01:00.000-07:00

Hi..This is my first blog ...

M gonna start with my favourite time pass in my final year..Btech

We formed a group of Four named as the forbidden 'AKATSUKI'....that specialized in the art of '28'.....

N.B: the write up below requires knowledge of some basic terms from the shinobi world and also the game 28....for understanding it better please start watching 'Naruto' from today itself!

This group had four active members and two sleeping members..Mostly at one time..only four guys out of the lot of six would get a chance to have a seat in the Prestigious Top Four 'AKATSUKI' round table..The ones being left out had to suffer the pain of isolation...

i will cite incidents where members turned crazy on being left out...n even tried to commit murder....

Let me lay out some facts about this group:

Aim of 'AKATSUKI': To master the jutsu (art) of '28'...n to disemminate the power to the ignorant enginering world.

Motto : To train all weekends to devise new jutsus .

Competition : Only one clan called the 'B-Boyz' could challenge our skills. But we never had the chance to have a full swing war with them. Though we had many balltles where mostly our side emerged superior.But the ultimate battle never happened.

Founders : Me and Bijit Debanth.

Expertise Levels (in decreasing order): The Hokage, Sanin, Jounin, Chounin n Genin..

So lets introduce the members of this fearsome group:( in alphabetical order)

Bijit Debnath: known as the 'HOMO'...but we should not go by his size as hez one of the smartest shinobi in the group with kick ass strategies up his sleeve n calculated moves.

Favourite weapon : is the Rasengan..yeah it involves going full force when u ve the power of the 'Jack nine King Queen'..the most feared elemental composition ..Armed with this he will never stop bidding...(think 26 waz the highest..)..

Demerit : Not always will u be lucky to have that hand of cards.

Expertise level: Sanin, the next inline Hokage

Manish Yadav: This member has been recruited from the Hidden Village of Meerut...from the 'Yadav Clan' this sinobi is well trained under the masters ...known as 'Yadav Sama aka Chota Don aka Bhosdu Sensei'...Hez a daring player armed with the power to unleash the fury of different ninjutsus...his strategy is to try to intimidate by bidding high... regardless of hiz cards.. ( yeah dats the catch..even with 7, 8, king ..n some X ..he wont stop..lolz)

Favourite weapon: The power of the 'SEVEN'...th card...lucky asshole...this jutsu rarely fails for him.

Demerit : Fully dependent on the sensuous goddess 'Luck'...

Expertise level: Jounin But has the potential to be a Sanin one day.

Nilesh Bhaiya: An old horse in the ninja ('28') world...Hiz calculation powress n analytical skills unlocked new mysteries in the realm of '28'...Adopted from the 'Maaru_Boka Clan' to the 'AKATSUKI' bcoz of his superior skills. The 'AKATSUKI' initially followed his guidance but later he waz allowed to rest as far superior powers emerged in the forbidden group.

Favourite weapon: 'Blind call'...

Demerit: Usually u will get screwed...

Expertise Level : Jounin

Pratik Sen: The foundation of the 'AKATSUKI' had this shinobi's selfless contributions. His jutsus in the initial days evoked praise from all the hidden villages...He had his tutelage under the 'Maaru_Clan' but he is basically from the 'Boka_Clan'...a clan reputed for their contributions in the Shinobi world..Nick named as 'the BABA'...

Favourite weapon: King- Queen...yeah thats it...anything with this pair and he will bid to 28 if possible

Demerit:Hiz Partners suffer...U WILL LOOSE MOSTLY unless the lady 'Luck' has agreed to a date with him...that happened once in a while...But at the end of the day this shinobi somehow used to give a superb competition paired with the Sanin -Bijit to me n manish.

Expertise Level: Chounin

Sangram Keshri Maharana : This shinobi entered into the 'AKATSUKI' quite late..hiz initial combats with the ruthless country called 'ECE' kept him away..But attracted by the power of the forbidden group he quit his fruitless efforts and turned into a dedicated shinobi of the ninja world...Under the tutelage of the founders (me n bijit)...his skills flourished...
But hiz frustrations from the defeat in the hands of the 'ECE' had left in him a demonic chakra that resurfaced once in a while...We the founders had both faced the demonic kyubis wrath....but armed with various ninjutsus and genjutsus we could easily control this chakra .

One more aspect of this shinobi is his volcanic anger on being left out of the active four...Manish , the jounin , handled him well in those situations with his ninjutsus..

Favourite weapon: the 'Joker'....he utilized that jutsu to the maximum success . his taijutsu skills were commendable.

Demerit: Once the hand is lost, u will loose.

Expertise Level: Chounin but can be a jounin some day..has the potential...

Subrata Saharia: And on the last alphabetical order comes me..The 'AKATSUKI' has adorned me with the title of the Hokage....for reasons mystical to me...i had my basic tutelage under my aunt when i waz in class six itself..i waz inspired by the way nilesh played his jutsus...the calculations analysis involved in the tricks were mastered easily by me..Paired with my Sanin friend Bijit i ve won many battles..our combination waz the most feared in the hidden villages....with nilesh we gave night out fights to the pair of manish-bijit...

Favourite weapon: Sharingan..the art of illusion n calculative infliction of pain..

Demerit: hardly any....hehe...

The remaining jutsus are forbidden techniques...cant disclose

Expertise Level: Sanin , the Hokage ..

So that ends the description of the notorious six characters of the 'AKATSUKI'...we tried to adopt one more member into it later, keping in view his interst in the ninja world, but he could not qualify the Chounin examz and is still a Genin...So he could not earn a place in the group...sry dude...he is Pritam from the 'Boka_Clan'...also called 'Bokaa aka Bokamaaru'...

Favourite weapon: He is still learning to use them.

Demerit: Think its his Clan's fault

Expertize level: Genin

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This post is a tribute to the beautiful times we spent together in our college days playing 28 n watching the animes basically naruto , bleach etc.....

The members have now been dispatched to their respective hidden villages...So the meetings of the 'AKATSUKI' has now become very difficult to organize due to the different demographic locations of the hidden villages..But the spirit still remains... HAIL AKATSUKI......HAIL 28...HAIL F TOP...!!

MISS COLLEGE DAYZ..!!